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OPINIONS

The Corner

FACEFUCK...SORRY I MEAN FACEBOOK!

For a kick off, I am sick to fucking death of this new news feed! Telling me the same shite from two weeks ago but letting all the new updates go by the wayside.

'GREAT' BRITAIN..SURELY NOT ANYMORE?

Who do tourists complain to when they visit 'Great' Britain and discover it's not? .

ALL PEOPLE WHO MOAN ABOUT THE COUNTRY GRINDING TO A HALT WHEN IT SNOWS

I'm writing this in anticipation of the fact that while 'I don't care what the weatherman says' he has said that it will snow.

INCORRECT USE OF THE WORDS "MYSELF" AND "YOURSELF"

"I left a message for yourself earlier on today and your colleague came back to myself to give myself the information." .



The Heroes

SOLITAIRE

I have just rediscovered Windows Solitaire thanks to my work computer. OH MY GOD! I had forgotten the beautiful simplicity and the addictive gameplay therein! This is amazing! I may never do another moment of work.

CAROLINE CARTWRIGHT

Poor girl lost today regarding breaching her ASBO - 47 decibels! Measured from the flat next door! Wow! Tragically, according to her brief comments on the court steps, she feels, 'frustrated'.

TIGER WOODS

Lets face it, he has conned major multinationals out of a billion dollars for sponsorship of his clean cut image and all the time he has been having sex with anything with a pulse.



The Rules

CONTRARY TO THE PICTURES

that will appear in every women’s magazine in January, nobody laughs whilst eating a yoghurt or a piece of fruit. .

SNOW

Grown adults will always run to the window as soon as it starts snowing. .

ON THE EVIDENCE OF THIS YEAR...

....Paul Scholes is a shoo-in for Sports Personality of The Year .

ANYWHERE IN LONDON....

...you are always approx 2 metres away from an American. .



The Board

WOW

16 minutes into ghost town and it is the biggest pile of shit I have ever laid eyes on! .

"WELL...

....I wish it could be Christmas everydaaaa-aa-aay" .

.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS. I want to die. .



LEAGUE TABLE

Most Papped
Katie Price1
Will Young2
Russell Brand3
Michael Lohan4
Most Slapped
Katie Price1
Bono2
Peaches Geldof3
Peter Andre4
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