Holy Moly! - I'm A Celebrity

Doctor Who? Classic.

John Hill — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:01:30 +0000

National Television Awards 2012: The winners

Anyway, here are the winners!

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Shooting Stars? Sherlock? Masterchef?

John Hill — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:00:27 +0000

National Television Awards nominations 2012: British TV looking quite ill

Anyway, here they are, regardless. May the best show win (or get nominated next year).

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He's Wright back where he belongs

Peter Meehan — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:30:37 +0000

I'm a Celebrity reunion party, Mark Wright takes over

Of course, for those of you who don't read any of the self-absorbed rubbish we write and couldn't give two shits what we think about your favourite celebrities, here's Mark Wright's homecoming do last night at Aura nightclub in London. Hope you enjoy it.

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Winning on Poynts

John Hill — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 09:59:39 +0000

I'm a Celebrity 2011: Dougie wins, Mark Wright says he could be next James Bond

So with Fatima and Antony out, it was just Mark and Dougie left in the final. Going into the competition there was simply no way anyone would have expected Mark Wright to even get this far, after all, the only indication we ever had that he wasn't a sociopath was James Argent's enduring, vaguely homoerotic, love for him. On the other hand, that charming rascal from McFly, Dougie Poynter, had already captured the nations heart with his song 5 Colours in Her Hair, so it's hardly surprising he made it this far.

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"Tony you trumpet!"

John Hill — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 10:20:31 +0000

I'm a Celebrity 2011: Willie booted out, Mark writes soap opera

Aside from Willie accusing Mark of being 'too honest' and stumbling into Antony's bed, the only other major event was Fatima saying she'd probably never want to see Antony again. Suppose that's news, as far as it goes.

Anyway, have a look at the vids and see for yourself…

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Peter Andre in a six foot box?

John Hill — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 11:57:50 +0000

I'm a Celebrity 2011: Crissy evicted, Willie goes crazy, Peter Andre overexcites Fatima

Not that Crissy leaving the jungle will make much of a difference. Aside from her laugh and the fact she made Willie look the model of health, she was a bit of a non-entity. Having said that, it turns out the whole time she was acting as the control rod to the reactor powering Willie's emotions, and as a result, with her out of the show he's gone supercritical.

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She's all Wright

John Hill — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 10:17:59 +0000

I'm a Celebrity 2011: Emily Scott evicted, Mark gets upset, wees on a sword, is in love

Still, with Emily out it means we're looking to Crissy of Fatima to keep Mark occupied. His hunger for love is too strong to be denied. Perhaps they'll play Ludo or something with him, something he can use his hands for. Otherwise he'll just rub himself raw.

Also, any of you wondering why Emily would fall for Mark in the first place, here's an example of his super-sexy chat, this time about his next trial:

“I hope I haven’t got to wear a dress again – I know how to take them off but don’t know how put them on.”

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Not so great Scott

John Hill — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 12:00:13 +0000

I'm A Celebrity 2011: Jessica Jane-Clement voted off, Mark shows Emily his 'mealworm'

Speaking of warmed hearts, despite our best intentions going in, we're actually taking to Mark quite a bit. Oh how we wanted to hate him, but it's becoming quite difficult, especially when he's so nice to everyone, even that whining shite Antony. In fact this year, except for Antony the Arsehole and possibly Crissy the Smoking Bullfrog everyone actually seems to be pretty pleasant, especially Willie and Dougie. Maybe that's what happens if you leave old people outside. Everyone cheers up and stops being such shits. Either that or everyone's just terrified of Fatima.

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He's a psychopat

John Hill — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 10:22:49 +0000

I'm A Celebrity 2011: Pat Sharp and Lorraine Chase kicked out, Mark Wright now in love

Not that anyone really cares about the silly old buggers anyway, they were only on the show to provide Pat with someone to victimise until the producers get clearance to send malnourished orphans or kids with learning disabilities in. No, what we're interested in is Mark Wright. Will he fall in love? Will he expose himself on camera? Is there a real possibility that he's trying to become the male Jordan? Dougie seem to think he is:

"I have a slight feeling that Mr Mark Wright could be the first person to be riding the camp bike."

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Poor little lamb

John Hill — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 16:40:44 +0000

I'm A Celebrity 2011: Mark Wright squeals like a frightened piglet, might be a nice guy

Seems unrealistic, but there's a possibility he might not just be being a smooth talking semi-literate womaniser for the cameras, it might be his real personality. Well, if last night's I'm A Celeb is anything to go by, anyway.

Having been put in a perspex cage with rats (his phobia apparently, and if the video above is anything to go by, it seems real) he actually tried to help large chested model Emily Scott deal with her fear while still struggling with his. Nice eh? Also, really shows the power breasts can have over a man. Especially a monumentally thick one.

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