Holy Moly! - Paparazzi

Give him a hand...

HM writer — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 08:47:59 +0000

Jack Tweed's hand swells with grief?

Our 'doctor' said the following:

"It is not possible for a hand to swell from grief, unless the grief has caused heart failure. The main possible reasons for the swelling could be an infection, heart failure, trauma, or he was born like that."

They couldn't confirm whether excessive partying in Faeces nightclub could cure such an infliction but get well soon Jack...

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Tim no gloves hands

Gemma Exley — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:29:39 +0000

Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter go sledging, Johnny Depp is all that's missing

Oh to be Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter with their two adjacent homes.

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Open Graph Type: article

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No Woot: WOOT

The Comicbook

Gemma Exley — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:02:43 +0000

Guess the handsome actor forced to hide behind a monster face...

It's obviously Ryan Gosling, who was spotted at JFK with new-ish girlfriend Eva Mendes.

Sorry, Mendes, we know you're bored of reading the duty free catalogue, but Gosling's too busy with his comic to join the mile high club - just leave him be.

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Open Graph Type: article

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No Woot: WOOT

Untitled because it doesn't exist

Gemma Exley — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 10:55:34 +0000

Lindsay Lohan wants everyone to know that she has a script

And, Jesus, look at her sister. Have a turkey and stuffing sandwich, girl.

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No Woot: WOOT

Lady Dying-like-her

John Hill — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 11:10:02 +0000

Lady Gaga believes she is the new Princess Diana, definitely not born that way

Which is why we're hoping that by comparing herself to Lady Diana she's going to irritate enough of the late princesses' equally bonkers followers for everyone else to just sit back and let them all fight it out. It's going to be close we reckon, especially with all the batshit mental KATEANDWILLSFOREVER fans joining in as well. Hopefully they'll just cancel each other out, like matter and anti-matter, or toothpaste and orange juice.

Either way, here's what a pal of hers said to The Sun about Lady on Lady love:

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No Woot: WOOT

Bell-end-y

Gemma Exley — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:42:18 +0000

Guess the celebrity with a Tesco bag over his head and wife who wears bad trainers

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No Woot: WOOT

Peaches and bad jeans

Gemma Exley — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 11:48:56 +0000

Out and about in London, featuring Peaches Geldof and Jeremy Clarkson

Why, it's Zac Efron! Whatever is he doing in London? No time to find out, because there goes Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy. Can we get any starrier? No, not really, because the rest of the gallery is largely made up of Fearne Cotton, Cagney and Lacey, Dionne Bromfield and X Factor contestants.

The funny thing about Jeremy Clarkson talking about the strike is that we quite often think 'strike' when we see his grey pube covered head. It's a strange day when Peaches Geldof can sit alongside someone so grotesque that she ends up looking marginally likeable.

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No Woot: WOOT

He's Kicking SexyPap

Gemma Exley — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 08:37:04 +0000

Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis arrive in London, bodyguard promptly kicks pap

…or, more accurately, for getting all in his clients' faces with your camera lens. The above pap got pushed to the curb outside Nobu. Timberlake doesn't look too impressed, he just wants delicious black cod, not this kerfuffle. Meanwhile, the drama seems to have bought Kunis out in a cold sweat - or perhaps it's just the sight of those all terrain trainers paps insist on wearing (why is that?).

Anyway, everyone knows that this is how you really lay into a pap... Oh Jay Kay, you cock...

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No Woot: WOOT

Pitt Stop!

Mr. HM — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 10:30:34 +0000

Brad Pitt Motorbike accident - the VIDEO

He should consider himself lucky to be alive after such a high speed fall. In fact, he's lucky he didn't scuff his jeans right through to the skin!

Rumour has it, this video is now going to be used in schools to educate the young about the dangers of reckless, high speed riding in congested areas. It's also a warning to pensioners riding mobility scooters - CHECK YOUR SPACIAL AWARENESS OLD FOLK.

(I love his bike though - does that make me very sad indeed?)

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Paparazzi

chrisns — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 17:44:58 +0000

Super Tag