Chelsea footballer nicknamed Cashley for his preposterously high wage demands; also plays for England. Started off at Arsenal and got fined £75,000 after doing dodgy deals with Chelsea in a “tapping-up” scandal - but still moved teams anyway. Counteracted rumours about his sexuality by not only marrying Cheryl Tweedy from Girls Aloud but also cheating on her with a drunk blonde who kissed and told the tabloids. He persuaded poor tearful Chezza to take him back -but was soon in trouble with the cops for being drunk and disorderly again, when his wife was on a Comic Relief trip to Africa. The two have since split and Ashley has been seen out with a fine selection of Cheryl lookalikes, although he seems to have finally settled in with I'm A Celeb contestant and ex-Playboy bunny Kayla Collins. Good for him, nothing straighter than sex with a Playboy bunny. You've got those naysayers on the run now, Ash.