Holy Moly! - Ashton Kutcher

Twits!

Gemma Exley — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 10:49:46 +0000

Celebrity twitter: top ten WTF twitpics, revealing or just slightly bizarre

In no particular order, we've got a bit of side-boob courtesy of Miley Cyrus, a make-up-free Katy Perry from Russell Brand, a topless pic of Melissa George sent via her boyfriend Russell Simmons, Demi Moore's arse from 'doting' then husband Ashton Kutcher, Nicole 'Coco' Austin's breasts from the lady herself, Courtney Love's arse also from the lady herself, Tori Spellings tits from her less than supportive chest husband, Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber in a parallel universe, Kim Kardashian revealing her true colours, and 50 Cent antagonisi

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No Martine?

John Hill — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 09:52:20 +0000

New Year's Eve premiere: Ashton Kutcher laughs in Lea Michele's mouth

Luckily, direction and script really don't matter for this kind of film, so long as there's someone running along a snow covered street, some kind of transport or power issue and a dog dressed up in a weird outfit.

So anyway, at last night's premiere we had Corey Monteith, Michelle Pfeiffer, Fergie, Zac Efron, Josh Duhamel, Sofia Vergara, Lea Michele, Ashton Kutcher, Hilary Swank, Katherine Heigl, Mark Salling, Christine Lakin, Chris Colfer and Abigail Breslin.

Still, Ashton Kutcher looks pleased with himself, doesn't he? Wonder why.

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No Moore the fool

Mr. HM — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 21:53:30 +0000

Demi announces she is to divorce Ashton, possibly due to his sense of self importance

She told a distraught and highly emotional word processor:

"It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life. This is a trying time for me and my family, and so I would ask for the same compassion and privacy that you would give to anyone going through a similar situation,"

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Punk'd!

Gemma Exley — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 09:45:22 +0000

Ashton Kutcher says never assume, it'll make an ass out of you and De-mi

We say never cheat with Kutcher, or it'll cutchyer in the fanny, or something, although Leal doesn't seem to have been deterred by the actor's legal team - she's reportedly trying to tout her story for £250,000, which is exactly a quarter of what Kutcher makes per episode in Two And A Half Men (although probably four times funnier)

As well as trying to be cryptic with wordplay, Kutcher also tweeted a link to Public Enemy's Don't Believe the Hype (he could've also tried I Stand Accused), while Moore's Twitter account was all tumbleweeds and dusty bikini shots.

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No Moore?

BeccaDP — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 10:21:20 +0000

Just like the Tiger Woods scandal, if you spill it, they will come. 'It' being the first hint of a ‘cheating story’ and 'they' being 'each and every skank, cocktail waitress and call girl that’s been riding the cuckold pole'. Following in the footsteps of Brittney Jones’ kiss and tell last September, a woman called Sarah Leal has come forward via Star magazine to say she did all the sex with Ashton in a hotel room, just last week, on the night of his sixth wedding anniversary. She reportedly asked thedirty.com for £160,000 for her story, and has hired a Hollywood lawyer.

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Love the way you lick

Peter Meehan — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 09:51:30 +0000

He looks Rod-iculous: HM Pictures of the Day 25th August

Starting out with the world at their feet are One Direction outside the Radio 2 studio, where they probably did some singing and answered questions the way their media coach told them to.

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Wrong Choice!

Gemma Exley — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 08:40:28 +0000

Teen Choice Awards 2011: the red carpet and the winners list, all 50 of them

Twilight and Harry Potter obviously swept the board, with Robert Pattinson and his wonky La Roux wig in attendance, as well as his co-star Taylor Lautner, who officially has world's longest neck (which makes up for fellow cast mate Kellan Lutz who was there with no neck at all). At least they had a reason to turn up, but a lot of the people - Gordon Ramsey, for instance, you've just got to wonder why… Don't even get us started on the Kardashian klan. And Rachel Bilson, we like you, but what is it you actually do now?

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New year, same old crap

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 12:37:01 +0000

New Year's Eve trailer: follow-up to Valentine's Day, double the cheese and A-listers

It's the follow-up to Valentine's Day, which was - or at least it looked like it was from the part of the trailer we could stomach - the cheesiest film ever made, with an equally large cast...

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Dude, where's her bra?!

Harry Bow — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 09:25:30 +0000

Ashton Kutcher desperately tries not to look at Alessandra Ambrosio's boobs during shoot

Brilliant work, Ashton - probably your best acting performance yet. In fact, we've never looked so desperately away from something since that time The Butterfly Effect was on telly and we couldn't find the remote. To be honest, we're surprised that Kutcher's dared to show his face in Brazil again after this...

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Sounds like a code word for the pub to us

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 14:30:34 +0000

Urban Zen: An awards ceremony, not the latest Paltrow-Martin baby

Somewhere between Demi's recent weight loss, nerd glasses and Ashton's checked shirt/shaggy hair combo, these two look like the perfect Hoxton couple. In fact, we're sure they pushed in front of us in the queue at Brick Lane Begal last week, the bastards.

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