• Name: Blake Fielder-Civil
• Age: unknown
• Occupation: Prisoner/twat
• Best Work: Going to prison
• Worst work: Getting out of Prison
• Worth: zilch
• Significant Others: Amy Winehouse
• Most Likely to: be the death of Amy
• PAPS: 156
• SLAPS: 157

It must be great being Blaaaaake Fielder-Civil. For whatever else happens in the life of this pork-pie hat-wearing geezer, he will always know that he’s only famous for making sure the brightest young star of British music was never more than two inches from a crack pipe. Ah, young love - aint it grand? Mr Amy Winehouse certainly thinks so - except for that time when the Sun printed the filthy letters he was writing during his time banged up for violent offences (and failing a drugs test) and they weren’t addressed to Aaaamy. Even though she’d been dedicating all her songs to My Blake Incarcerated. Which may be why they’re now getting divorced and he's got some bird in rehab up the stick.