The X Factor's over for another year, completely and utterly. Simon Cowell can now retire to his floating castle in space while Louis heads over to the dole office with Dannii, and Cheryl gets to spend some time by herself, which isn't a fate we'd wish on anyone.

Like a virus, the Only Way is Essex cast have started appearing at every and any event in London (a metaphor that doesn't entirely make sense, but sometimes it's the thought that counts). What we want to know, is why would they spoil our favourite programme by turning up and being themselves? That's not what we want to see at all, we want to see exactly what we expect Essex life to be like; women fighting in full makeup and men spending their ill gotten gains on going to the gym, tanning and doing laundry (it's a Jersey thing).    TOWIE is so good we actually had a friend from Romford tell us the other day that the programme gives Essex a bad name. Assuming that he knew what people thought beforehand, that's some good TV you've got right there.