• Name: Britney Spears
• Age: 28
• Occupation: Singer
• Best Work: Toxic
• Worst work: Shaved head/umbrella
• Worth: £££££
• Significant Others: Her backing dancer
• Most Likely to: relapse
• PAPS: 234
• SLAPS: 190

The most famous person on the planet apart from Mohammed, Jesus and the late Jade Goody, Britney Spears was a child star who met her future boyfriend Justin Trousersnake when they presented the Mickey Mouse Club together as sweet virginal Christian children. Imagine! Then the song Hit Me Baby One More Time made her a massive star at 18, although, let’s face it, that photo of her coming out of a hairdressers with a big bald head and the demented stare of a homicidal caveman is what really cemented her role in the public eye. She married Kevin Federline and had two kids with him, though after their break-up sent her stark staring bonkers the courts took the children off her and everything went dark. Sarah Silverman said “Imagine, at 25, she’s already achieved - everything that she’s ever going to achieve.” And yet - she’s made two albums since all that insanity business and they’re actually quite good. Hurrah.