Holy Moly! - David Walliams

Bruce Forsyth!

John Hill — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 20:53:35 +0000

National Television Awards 2012 arrivals: Gypsy Wedding, Tulisa the swan and Fatima

Anyway, before we get to the awards themselves we've got all the pictures from the red carpet. Dresses! Shoes! Haircuts! Legs! Hands! Handbags! Leg bracelets! Eyes! Bruce Forsyth!

Points to note:

Tulisa's dress
Leigh Francis' suit
Fatima Whitbread's moxy (yeah, moxy)
Those two from Big Fat Gypsy Wedding (that's a deep teak if you were wondering)
And
The TOWIE girls actually looking reasonably classy.

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Alesha still have a job, eh?

John Hill — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 10:09:10 +0000

Britain's Got Talent 2012 judges announced: Simon Cowell returns with new pal Walliams

Anyone hoping for Stephen Hawking as head judge will be………..DISAPPOINTED…. as creator of the wheel Simon Cowell returns in the new series, replacing previous judge David Hasselhoff after the chisel-headed talking car enthusiast used his position to seduce a Welsh factory worker.

On the other hand, anyone hoping that Alesha Dixon would move over to the series from Strictly Come Ice Climbing will be…….. APPOINTED….. as the singer/dancer/whatever grudgingly took a significant pay hike in order to judge some of the UK's most unstable exhibitionists.

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A millie what?

Gemma Exley — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 11:44:36 +0000

The Sun Military Awards, attended Amy Childs, Peter Andre, Little Mix and Kate Middleton

While US military types were awarded with a Mila Kunis/Justin Timberlake roast earlier this year, UK ones got this last night; Kate Middleton handing out prizes whilst wearing a 5k Alexander McQueen frock and being watched by David Beckham, Amy Childs, Pete Andre, Little Mix, David and Samantha Cameron, David Walliams, Gordon Ramsay, Myleene Klass, Dougie Poynter and Harry Judd. Their country needs them? Meh.

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GIRLS: Is 28 too soon?

John Hill — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 10:08:59 +0000

London Last Night: Kate Moss, Dita Von Teese, Rob Lowe and Tommy Hilfiger

Although, aside from Chloe Moretz and her scandalous SCANDALOUS sCaNdAlOuS trousers, last night's London was well occupied by both famous people who do work for a living and famous people who know those people. We'll let you decide who is which. CLUE: There's more of one than the other.

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Your guide to avoiding David Walliams throughout the festive season

Tim Chipping — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 12:17:07 +0000

2011 Xmas telly looks rubbish, better buy a Kindle

Great Expectations - Tuesday 27, Wednesday 28, Thursday 29, 9pm BBC1

This is the BBC’s big three-parter adaptation of the Charles Dickens’ classic about a stinky old woman and a junior blacksmith. It won’t be as good as the David Lean film, because that’s one of the best films ever made (even if it does take liberties with the story) but it’s got Ray Winstone as Magwitch, and we’d certainly be terrified if we saw him looming up out of a graveyard shouting “Who’s the daddy?” So we’ll give it a go.

Doctor Who – Sunday 25 December, 7pm BBC1

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Je n'aime pas

Gemma Exley — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 09:36:52 +0000

Elton John throws a charity ball, Jaime Winstone turns up with breasts on show

Also in the house posing next to a large bottle of vodka, we have co-host David Furnish, of course, Tamara Ecclestone, David Walliams, Plan B, Boris Becker (dressed as Jessie J), Shirley Bassey, Tali Lennox, Giles Deacon, Lee Ryan, Simon Webbe and Duncan James from Blue, Ruby Wax, Graham Norton, Benedict Cumberbatch, a Jonas brother and plenty of soap types (Corrie's Becky looked great).

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“Praise him”

Stephen Kelly — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 13:16:15 +0000

Doctor Who: The God Complex

It was, for the most part, fantastic: the characters (bar one) were well written, the concept was incredibly clever and the over-arcing issues were surprisingly profound. Where it did slip up, however, is that for all its build-up and mystery, the ending felt rushed and lacklustre – no doubt thanks to a script that had to be edited to accommodate a more arc-friendly finish. Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got to check-in.

“The rooms have... things in them.”

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Vomittle Britain

John Hill — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 15:39:11 +0000

David Walliams gets sick from swimming the Thames, may have caught Turd Flu

Walliams recently said he was going to swim the Thames for charity in order to raise cash for Sport Relief, although unfortunately a mere three days after starting off he's managed to swallow enough of the Thames' shitty water to make him quite, quite ill. He calls it 'Thames Tummy'. We call it Turd Flu.

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Reid her lips

Peter Meehan — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 14:41:00 +0000

Price hike: HM Pictures of the Day 6th September

Anyway, first up we've got David Walliams getting greased up in Gloucestershire before his 140 mile swim along the Thames and for JustTextGiving, Kara Tointon, Denise van Outen, Amanda Holden and Lisa Snowdon reveal their Vodafone JustTextGiving Charity Challenges. Nice of them, eh?

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Little Shitten

Gemma Exley — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 09:27:52 +0000

Caption competition part 2: David Walliams and Lara Stone

Obviously they are actually just jumping into the ocean from a yacht - Lara Stone is holding her nose because all models hate getting stuff up their nostrils and Walliams is gasping at the excitement of it all (going out with a model, not the swimming stuff). Good times.

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