Holy Moly! - Gwyneth Paltrow

She's got a high adrenal cortex

Gemma Exley — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:35:59 +0000

Gwyneth Paltrow on detox, botox and cheating cocks

Which leads us nicely onto Gwyneth colon cleanse...

Talking to Harper's about her 12 week detox, she explained:

"I have a lot of inflammation in my system, so I'm not having anything I'm allergic to—no gluten, no dairy, no sugar. I'll wake up exhausted; I can feel my adrenal cortex being really high. When I get into bed, my heart will pound, my skin won't be good, I'll feel cranky, and then I'll just know it's time."

Brace yourself, Chris!

Talking of her lovers, she adds:

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Smokin' Blunt

Gemma Exley — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 15:54:46 +0000

The week in style: HM fashion round-up, 11 November 2011

The usual suspects have been out and about wearing expensive dresses in the name of increasing box office receipts this week... As per usual, Michelle Williams looked radiant in a gold structured strapless number with her 'Heath tribute' crop. Similarly shiny examples in metallics were Freida Pinto, Emma Stone, Jessica Alba and Kate Hudson. Meanwhile, Evan Rachel Wood, Zoe Saldana and Camille Belle probably thought all glitters wasn't gold when they all turned up at the same event in similar Gucci numbers (well, it was a Gucci sponsored event).

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Something about the war, etc

John Hill — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 10:38:45 +0000

Bambi Awards: Gwyneth Paltrow, Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga

Attending the awards yesterday were; Karl Lagerfeld in a daring new ensemble, Lady Gaga wearing a surprising actually-who-gives-a-fuck-what-she's-wearing-anymore, Justin Bieber dressed as a retarded teenager from 2001: A Space Odyssey and Gwyneth Patrow showing off her breathtaking sternum and clavicles in a green gown made of tinsel.

Still no news of whether Justin's sperm have set up shop anywhere yet. We'll keep you updated.

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Number 2!

Gemma Exley — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 09:08:29 +0000

Gwyneth Paltrow on the set of Thanks For Sharing, a film about sex addiction

Paltrow, who we thank for sharing her splendid thoughts on a weekly basis, was spotted filming with Mark Ruffalo in Central Park yesterday, which got us thinking about how many great titles she's actually starred in... Um... The Royal Tenenbaums?? The Talented Mr Ripley??

Will this one be any good? Maybe - it's being directed by Stuart Blumberg, who also did The Kids Are All Right, and is about three people undergoing a 12-step treatment for sex addiction. Hey, people with pokers stuck up their bottoms can be sex addicts too!

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Have you ever had a hangover so bad you feel like your head's been cut-off and put in a box?

Gemma Exley — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 14:12:01 +0000

Stop press: Gwyneth Paltrow has a hangover and might puke on a plane

As proof that Gwyneth Paltrow is a hypocritical bullshit spreader, the actress has just announced that she has a hangover - only a few months after she revealed her goopy fool-proof 'cure' for one ("cold shower and green tea"). Fraud!

She wrote on Twitter:

"Nursing a horrific hangover at the jfk. Nothing like starting an overseas flight dehydrated. Where is the dog, I need the hair."

Oh Paltrow, you so crazy. Have a packet of salt and vinegar Discos and you'll be as right as rain.

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"My chair was wet. Gross!"

Gemma Exley — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 08:53:48 +0000

A day in the life of Gwyneth Paltrow and her 'nine chins'

"Wake up early as Chris has trapped wind because he insists on eating carbs after 6pm and the stench is unbearable. I find Apple eating a KitKat for breakfast which is upsetting because I especially made linseed muesli last night. Moses won't move because he was working on a homework project called Call of Duty all night. I try to make everyone sit down together but Chris jokes that he'll put my head in a box, so I keep quiet. I go to the office and start writing my Goop newsletter.

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Emmy the greats

Gemma Exley — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 09:15:04 +0000

Emmy Awards 2011: ALL the red carpet dresses, pretty pretty good all around

Bloody Paltrow and her face all smug in the knowledge that her Goopy diet paid off and everyone can see how great she looks in her Pucci number - don't worry, we're here to remind everyone of THIS.

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Wooooah FASHION!

Gemma Exley — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 09:24:31 +0000

Vogue Fashion's Night Out London: Gillan, Tulisa, Paltrow, two Geldofs and MORE!

Except, this is a suspicion, and only a suspicion, but we reckon when the Comfort Prima High Street Awards people got in touch with Vogue and asked if they could be placed on the official FNO rota, Anna Wintour's lot raised an eyebrow (or tried to) and said "yes, but only if you can guarantee that it will round up all those unsightly types and keep them as far away from Bond Street as possible." And da-dah, it worked!

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Coach class

Gemma Exley — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 11:30:24 +0000

Coach hold a dinner party to honour Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin gets invite

Despite her latest film premiering in New York last night, the actress chose to spend her evening at The Arts Club in London, where Coach were holding a dinner in her honour. We bet there was a lovely toast, Gwynnie makes marvellous toast - she drizzles truffle oil over organic spelt bread and grills it over charcoal.

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The bore merchants of Venice

Gemma Exley — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 08:35:12 +0000

Venice Film Festival 2011: weekend round-up with Knightley, Paltrow and Winslet

About Contagion; it stars Paltrow and Jude Law, which has got everyone chatting about it being a Talented Mr Ripley reunion, conveniently forgetting that dreadful Sky Captain film. Tsk, not in our minds.

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