Holy Moly! - Jeremy Clarkson

Alba missing you

John Hill — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:13:58 +0000

Mission Impossible 4 London premiere: Tom Cruise, Gillian Anderson and Jeremy Clarkson

Anyway, along with Jeremy and his daughter on the red carpet were Amanda Etheridge, Caprice, Gillian Anderson, Jenni Falconer, Lea Seydoux, Paula Patton, Richard Hammond, Simon Pegg, Tom Cruise and Toula Adeyemi.

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Top Git

John Hill — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 14:48:52 +0000

BBC defends Jeremy Clarkson, calls him one of our leading 'cultural' exports

The reason? Jeremy Clarkson is predictable, trade unions are boring and The One Show is only marginally less painful than having to watch yourself being castrated under anaesthetic by a clumsy toddler with a teaspoon. Combining these three together pretty much creates the perfect storm in terms of mind-numbing apathy.

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Peaches and bad jeans

Gemma Exley — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 11:48:56 +0000

Out and about in London, featuring Peaches Geldof and Jeremy Clarkson

Why, it's Zac Efron! Whatever is he doing in London? No time to find out, because there goes Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy. Can we get any starrier? No, not really, because the rest of the gallery is largely made up of Fearne Cotton, Cagney and Lacey, Dionne Bromfield and X Factor contestants.

The funny thing about Jeremy Clarkson talking about the strike is that we quite often think 'strike' when we see his grey pube covered head. It's a strange day when Peaches Geldof can sit alongside someone so grotesque that she ends up looking marginally likeable.

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Here's HOPING

John Hill — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 15:14:28 +0000

Hoping Foundation: Kate Moss, Jimmy Carr, Gemma Arterton and POLITICS

So yes, everything still seems above board and in no way different from our usual celebrity flickbook, except it turns out that HOPING stands for Hope and Optimism for Palestinians in the Next Generation. WE'RE SUPPORTING PALESTINE. LOOK AT US. SO ARE YOU, NOW. WE ALL ARE. LET'S GO AND MAKE A HAMAS SANDWICH!

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Oh Arg, don't cry

John Hill — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 09:23:09 +0000

London Last Night: Karen Gillan's back! Along with Gene Simmons and a TOWIE wrap party

As a follow up question, out of the following celebrities spotted in London last night, who would you say is most likely to try and prevent a crime? America Ferrara, Amy Childs, Billie Faiers, Brian May, Chloe Simms, Flea, Frankie Essex, Gene Simmons, Jeremy Clarkson, Jessica Wright, Joey Essex, Karen Gillan, Lauren Goodger, Lily Cole, Maria Fowler, Nicola Goodger and as if there weren't already enough of them Essex lot abaat already, Sam Faiers. Also, if you hadn't guessed, it was the TOWIE season three wrap party last night at The Penthouse.

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Jeremy Bhagwaan

John Hill — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 11:26:48 +0000

Indian man describes Jeremy Clarkson as a god, not even a hint of irony

Just think, El Ron Cupboard must have had to convince his local pub pals that aliens lived in a volcano way before he could even think about popping over to see John Travolta at whichever super heterosexual spa he was visiting.

Not so much for test driver Deepankar Sadekar, a man who's keen to meet his god first, albeit just to make sure Clarkson's not a total washout before he persuades others to worship at the sweaty high-trousered altar of the Eternal Manchild. Sensible, especially given Clarkson's penchant for racism.

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Crock of Ages?

John Hill — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 15:07:06 +0000

Rock of Ages premiere: Ana Araujo shows breast (kind of) and Jeremy Clarkson looks lost

Anyway, the musical had its premiere last night, and alongside Shayne and Justin Lee Collins were a fine selection of London's TV talent, including Ali Bastian, Ana Araujo (you can actually see her breast if you look hard enough), Christopher Biggins, Cilla Black, David Ginola, Edwina Curry, Gary Kemp, Hayley Westenra, Heather Small (again), Imogen Thomas (our money's on her being the new Kerry Katona), Joe Calzaghe, Martin Kemp, Michelle Heaton, Neil Fox, and Toby Anstis.

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

She thought the invite said 'women show your rear' awards

Gemma Exley — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 08:54:29 +0000

GQ Men Of The Year Awards 2011: red carpet arrivals, winners and Abbey Clancy's knickers

Obviously women dominated the red carpet at the man-themed event, with Abbey Clancy and Holly Valance competing over underwear exposure (Clancy won). Lara Stone actually won a Man of the Year award, which is a bit weird - what are GQ trying to tell us? David Walliams is currently swimming through sewage (not a euphemism for the red carpet) so couldn't attend, but there were a few other couples - Jamie Cullum and Sophie Dahl, Kelly Brook and that guy, Daisy Lowe and Matt Smith, the latter of which picked up a prize for Best Dressed.

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Hungry, hungry hippo

John Hill — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 15:48:05 +0000

Jeremy Clarkson eats a thrush, says anyone who doesn't is stupid and narrow minded

So what is it? Oh, nothing much, just that bosom bellied loudmouth Jeremy Clarkson is, wait for it, STILL A BIT OF A DICKHEAD. YEAH. HOW'S YOUR MIND NOW? PRETTY BADLY BLOWN, EH?

“I absolutely love trying unusual delicacies when I am abroad. I have eaten alligators, ostrich and a thrush. I’ve also eaten the flipper from a seal, a shark cooked in urine and the still-beating heart of a snake, washed down with vodka.

“In this country we eat overpriced rubbish.

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Careful Outburst (y'know, like Careless Whisper)

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 13:55:36 +0000

George Michael brands Jeremy Clarkson 'a pig-ugly homophobic tw*t', he's not far off

It all started when George uploaded this video of a pink Bentley, following it with the Tweet:

"I swear this is real. And I sound like Jeremy Clarkson with someone's finger up his a**e...... )) its a camp classic all round… For the love of God, somebody tweet this to Jeremy and tell him it's from a Top Queer."

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT