Holy Moly! - Jessica Simpson

Cheery

Gemma Exley — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:10:34 +0000

Winter TV Press Tour 2012: actors plug new shows, some rather unenthusiastically

Because of the glorious wide-reaching audience of the telly box, we've got the likes of Jessica Simpson nestled alongside Kiefer Sutherland. No idea what the former is up to, but the latter has a new show called Touch, where he plays Martin Bohm, 'a widower and single father, who is haunted by his inability to communicate with his 11-year-old son Jake, who has been misdiagnosed as being autistic but is actually supernatural'. Dammit Jake!

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[INSERT HEADER HERE ABOUT WHITE CHRISTMAS]

Gemma Exley — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:55:19 +0000

The week in style: HM fashion round-up, 2 December 2011

And so we have both Cate Blanchett and SJP in SS 2012 Louis Vuitton, Vera Fermiga dressing appropriately for the UNICEF Snowflake Ball, Alexa Chung in an equally wintery white Christopher Kane, and Andrea Riseborough in frothy Marchesa.

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We think we preferred Scarlett’s bathroom pics

BeccaDP — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 09:36:09 +0000

Jessica Simpson posts weird toilet photo, still not mentioning pregnancy

Jessica Tweeted the photo, showing her sitting on the bog with her little feet unable to touch the floor, with the caption “short girl problems”. It’s a bit weird, really, isn’t it? At first, you’re just like, oh she’s on the loo, just like everyone else! But who took the photo? And as we can’t see any pants are we to assume she’s just sitting on the loo with her pants up, just to take the photo? Or is she naked? If she’s naked, is she doing a wee? Or a POO?!

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Much Jess Breast

BeccaDP — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 10:52:39 +0000

Jessica Simpson plans breast reduction for wedding, we bid farewell

Jessica is sick to the back teeth of everyone going on about her weight, so she’s decided to have a breast reduction because she thinks her DDs “make her look fatter” than she actually is. There’s the added fact that at 5ft 3in, those bazungas probably give her wicked backache.

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Her-mess

Gemma Exley — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 13:08:47 +0000

Shouldn't Jessica Simpson be kissing the 15k price tag instead?

In the end, it turned out that fiance Eric Johnson hadn't wasted his money because Simpson absolutely loved the bag - weally weally wuvved it - so much that she tweeted a picture of herself kissing it, which is basically the same as kissing a cow's arse, innit?

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'It wasn't even Fiji water!'

Harry Bow — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 09:13:35 +0000

Paris Hilton's boyfriend gets water chucked in face, might've briefly stopped smugness

The most surprising part of this story is that Paris Hilton and her boyfriend Cy Waits weren't in court after breaking the law they think they're above, they were actually there to testify against an alleged home intruder, although then it gets a bit confusing because apparently the person who 'attacked' them as they were leaving was also an intruder - or so Hilton claimed, writing on Twitter:

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Sucker Spice (part 2)

HM writer — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 12:08:54 +0000

Sugar Tits: HM Pictures Of The Day, 7th March 2011

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We'd prefer Katie Waissel's granny

Sat, 29 Jan 2011 12:14:43 +0000

X Factor rumour mill: Robbie Williams for UK series, Jessica Simpson for US?

If it's viewers you want then just stick Robbie, Gary, Mark, Howard and Jason on the panel. Actually, maybe not Howard. Nobody gives a shit about him.

But right now it's just Robbie who's being tipped to join the X Factor panel - replacing Simon Cowell altogether as he neglects us Brits and fucks off to America. Why Robbie, you ask? Well it's pretty simple really: he's the same shoe size as Simon. The key decider in every X Factor appointment, an insider tells us:

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Presidential sweet?

Harry Bow — Sun, 02 May 2010 08:22:49 +0000

Barack Obama invites some friends over for dinner at the White House

We're not too sure what this is all about, but apparently America's Head of State gave a brief speech to some of his more glamorous supporters (and Donatella Versace) over dinner, addressing issues such as the Gulf oil spill.

Talking of spillages (tenuous link coming up), Scarlett Johansson's cups were runneth over, although Jessica Simpson had tucked hers away for the occasion, as had Kim Kardashian.

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Homer Simpson

Aretha Franklin — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 14:17:49 +0000

Jessica Simpson gets wide at Good Housekeeping 125th Anniversary

Oh, that's it! She doesn't fit into her dress anymore...

The singer (from Wikipedia, not us!) can be seen squeezing out of her strapless blue dress at the event last night, with her tits clearly desperate to burst out and say hello.

It's a remarkable change from the girl who used to boast slim supermodel looks. But Jessica says she's quite content with her current figure:

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