• Name: John Mayer
• Age: 32
• Occupation: musician
• Best Work: Does a lot of fundraising
• Worst work: The sappy music
• Worth: ££
• Significant Others: Jennifer Aniston
• Most Likely to: Sing you to sleep
• PAPS: 152
• SLAPS: 125

Drippy rocker Mayer is the latest in the line of American artists producing 'adult oriented' soft rock to a reception of yawns on this side of the Atlantic. At home, however, they can't get enough of the blue-eyed boy's drivel such as Your Body Is A Wonderland in which he threatens to "use my hands". Back off, Johnny. Has of course been in the press a lot lately due to his relationship with Aniston, and was suited and paraded next to her at the Oscars as if to say 'look at THIS, Brad.'