Holy Moly! - Katie Price

Who ate slugs? BEAR ATE SLUGS

John Hill — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:15:53 +0000

London Last Night: Bear Grylls, Jake Gyllenhaal, Ant and Dec!

NO WAY. Today we've got….

JAKE GYLLENHAAL!
BEAR GRYLLS!

Fuck. Ok, fine, it's not quite the extravaganza we were hoping for but nonetheless, they're still people and they deserve your respect and love just like every other human being on the plant does. Remember, treat others like you yourself would like to be treated. Even that one from Dancing with Strictly Ice In The Attic who seems to have dressed herself using only a onesie and a bucket of black paint.

Anyway, here they are...

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Children, with a capital C

John Hill — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 15:54:59 +0000

Katie Price replies to Peter Andre's wild accusations, WITH AN ESSAY

Fine. Well, we're going to tell you anyway, and it's going to be in Katie Price's own words. HER OWN WORDS. The one's she gave to Heat, anyway.

"At the outset I would like to apologise for having to respond to my ex-husbands article in Heat (which Heat published without seeking comment from me and having published a fake interview with me a few weeks ago).

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Her words aren't turds

John Hill — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:09:56 +0000

Katie Price wins debate with Boris Johnson's sister, at Cambridge Union

Yes, you read that right and we're as surprised as you are. Usually the only coherent words we get from KP's direction are those of her lawyers politely asking us asking us not to perform such terrible acts of slander and libel and general meanness. Which we do, because we're nothing if not friendly.

However, this particular victory is all KPs. Not a lawyer in sight:

'If you play Trivial Pursuit with me I will definitely lose.'

'There is no such thing as can’t, because I can.'

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The Price might not be right, but the Katona is certainly wrong

John Hill — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:43:40 +0000

Kerry Katona giving Katie Price relationship advice again, still not sure who's worse

Of course it doesn't help that Katie Price, being a pisces, is unlikely to be receptive to hypocritical bullshit at least until next Tuesday, and you also mustn't forget that the infamous litigation dragon she's had rising in her gamma quadrant since she was about 18, will mean that any kind of insult at all could result in her children finding themselves the recipients of an unexpected cashwindfall.

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Ever get that feeling you're drowning in syrup?

John Hill — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 10:26:22 +0000

Katie Price's old PR team made up and spread lies about her, according to her new team

Of course, every single decision you made would be passed through your PR team, who would decide whether to 'leak' it, make a public statement about it, or whether to simply continue quietly crying in a corner at the horrible turn their lives had taken. Just imagine having to depend on stories of other people's day-to-day activities just to make a living. Just imagine.

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Probably not during the moment she woke up, before she put on her makeup

Gemma Exley — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:21:12 +0000

Celeb engagement round-up: Aretha Franklin, Katie Price & Rochelle Wiseman proposed to

Leandro Penna, who you'd have all thought would've been left in 2011 if any of you had actually had a lasting thought about him, apparently proposed to ex Katie Price on Christmas day, leaving her in "massive shock". According a source who spoke to The Sun, Price has been telling her friends:

"Leandro came to mine on Christmas Day and asked me to marry him. It was a massive shock and completely out of the blue. I don't know what to do."

Yeah, it's difficult when OK! are shut for the break.

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Sack the stylist, or get one

Gemma Exley — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 12:11:47 +0000

HM fashion disasters of the year 2011: some surprising, some not so much

So, in the mix of stretched sateen and polyester, we have the normally impeccable Frieda Pinto in a tux/gown combo, Pixie Geldof in her Buffalos, Katie Price dressed as a book cover, Jared Leto in a Snuggie, Geri Halliwell in a bridal dress (it wasn't her wedding), Princess Beatrice at the Royal Wedding wedding in a fallopian tube hat, Jessie J dressed for Strictly, Christina Aguilera in a very misguided basque, Ke$ha just being Ke$ha, Taylor Momsen just being Taylor Momsen, Emma Watson managing to make Valentino look cheap, Cheryl Cole in the outfit so bad it got her sacked, Katy Perry sti

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"Katrina Infield, you come back inside this instant and leave those boys alone"

John Hill — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 14:53:29 +0000

Katie Price seen out on the town with new man, a 19 year old footballer, SURPRISE!

Luckily for Jake, Katie, 33, originally from Brighton, also likes kissing, hanging out in Westfield and writing fiction. It's a match made in heaven. Or at least it would be if Katie would just let nature take its course. But she won't. This, via Twitter:

'Just because I'm single Why when I have a night out and males are with me papers make out I've kissed them what a load of rubbish again!'

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An Unconditional apology

John Hill — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 12:24:44 +0000

Katie Price apologises for lying about Peter Andre, world readies own watertight case

The very silly mother of three has been forced to make a significant payment as well as issue a public apology to Andre over claims she made in an interview in Heat magazine and on the Graham Norton Show two years ago, where she alleged he had cheated on her during their marriage and also that he didn't really care much for her son Harvey. Given his propensity for mentioning his love for Harvey and her in every bloody interview he does, an easily winnable case by all accounts.

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Who would want her?

John Hill — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 10:50:35 +0000

Katie Price thinks people are trying to kidnap her, a rational nation strongly disagrees

So yes, unbelievably, someone is apparently trying to kidnap Katie Price. How does she know? Because someone's put a tracker on her neon pink Range Rover, a car that we're sure is notoriously hard to keep tabs on. (Via The Mirror)

“The garage had my car on a ramp during a routine MOT and spotted this tracker.

“The car was last serviced on August 16, so I know someone’s been snooping around my property and shoved it on between then and now.

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