Holy Moly! - Katy Perry

Shut up and Drive

HM writer — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:03:16 +0000

Rihanna flashes her arse at Paris Fashion Week

Rihanna was joined by Katy Perry, both looking as though they were sharing a single brain cell between them, on the front row of Karl Lagerfield's ready to wear Spring/Summer 2010 collection.

And Katy managed to drag herself away from new lover Russell Brand, who she'd spent the last three days holed up with at his Hampstead home, to leave him behind in London.

So it was just the one arse on show (sorry)...

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(.)(.)

Gemma Exley — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:04:37 +0000

Katy Perry signs Russell Brand divorce papers with a smiley face :(

Still, she has reason to smile now that it's been confirmed that Brand isn't looking to callously swipe $20m from her bank account. As if he would've - he's an honest guy. Actually, he's not - he hasn't even put his middle name on the document (Edward, FYI).

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Hand-Egg Tournament XLVI

John Hill — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 09:43:42 +0000

Super Bowl 2012: Every American celebrity you could ever imagine, except Ryan Gosling

Anyway, here are the pictures from the pre Super Bowl parties that took place in Indianapolis. One of them has Connor Cruise in. See? What a great segue. We have…

LL Cool J at the GQ, Lacoste And Patron Tequila Celebrate The Super Bowl,

Nick Cannon at the Pepsi Pre-Super Bowl Party,

Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson, Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra at the The Ninth Annual Leather and Laces event at the Regions Bank Tower,

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I kissed a girl who looked like that other girl

Gemma Exley — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:36:39 +0000

Russell Brand allegedly likes Zooey Deschanel, might have mistaken her for Katy Perry

So, talking to OK! Magazine, a source claimed the recently-separated Brand likes the recently-divorced Deschanel, so much so that he's been sending her 'flirty' texts. The insider said:

“Russell has had his eye on Zooey for a long time. And he’s been sending funny, flirty texts to see if they can get together. He thinks she’s hysterically funny and cute too. He loves her quirky sense of humor and thinks they’d be great together both on and off screen. There’s a real spark there.”

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Music, is it just for kids?

John Hill — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 16:50:53 +0000

NME Awards nominations: five new awards, no new nominees

In terms of the actual nominees it looks like the same advert-based affair as most of the other awards ceremonies around at the moment. Harry Potter for best film? Fresh Meat for best show? Best Re-issue? Noel Fielding? Kasabian?

Anyway, here are the nominees:

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Waking Up In Vegas. Alone

Gemma Exley — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:26:16 +0000

Katy Perry makes appearance in Vegas, shows Russell what he's missing (a crap night out)

A small prize from the HM stationary cupboard for the person who comes up with the best caption for whatever Hilton is saying on the phone.

FYI, we say it looks like a crap night, but if it's anything to do with charity, we apologise... We see the big cheque book has come up - it could be for a good cause or just because Hilton's got large hands.

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"Kerry King! He's my favourite!"

John Hill — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 10:36:25 +0000

The Sims 3: Showtime with Katy Perry, featuring the weirdest promo video

No, we're just joshing, you silly Susans. IT'S ACTUALLY GOT KATY PERRY IN IT. WE'RE POINTING THIS OUT JUST IN CASE YOU COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTOOD WHAT 'KATY PERRY COLLECTOR'S EDITION' ACTUALLY MEANT. Which means you can finally re-enact her recent marriage to Russell Brand while holding down a job at the local physics lab, just like she did.

Incidentally, the plot for this video is pretty bloody weird. Seriously.

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I bet your hair doesn't look good on the barber floor

Gemma Exley — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 10:48:42 +0000

Katy Perry & Alex Turner show why it's good to leave your hair alone after a break-up

Here's a script loosely inspired by Alexa Chung and Alex Turner's relationship:

____________________________________________

Early 2011.

A.T: I really want to get a quiff.
A.C: Don't.
A.T: Please.
A.C: No.

Some time passes and the couple split.

A.T: I'm so sad about my break-up with Alexa but at least I can get my quiff now.

The following day Chung is reading the popular press and spots a picture.

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Perry bad taste

John Hill — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 10:24:44 +0000

Katy Perry and Russell Brand split because he made jokes about her parents

After all, it's not like he's suddenly changed for the worse; he's always been a charmingly outspoken horsecock. He's written two books about being a charmingly outspoken horsecock. He's been on tour with his stand-up show The Charmingly Outspoken Horsecock. He's even openly described himself as a charmingly outspoken horsecock (paraphrasing a bit) in interviews. So why is everyone so surprised when he acts like a massive horse cock? WHAT A CRAZY WORLD WE ALL LIVE IN, EH READERS?

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Brand new b*llshit

Gemma Exley — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 12:26:48 +0000

Dubious Katy and Russell story of the day: his love of wheelchair porn drove her away

Following suggestions that Brand will ruthlessly swoop in for half Perry's fortune (we sincerely doubt this), Us Weekly now reports that Katy couldn’t satisfy Russell’s sexual desires, with a source saying:

“Katy was kinky enough during their first times together and he was very attracted to her.

"When things got bad, if they got a roll in the hay, they were always better after.”

However, the 'insider' added that it was “never enough”, continuing:

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