• Name: Keira Knightley
• Age: 24
• Occupation: Actress
• Best Work: Pirates of the Caribbean
• Worst work: The Edge of Love
• Worth: £££
• Significant Others: Rupert Friend
• Most Likely to: Pout
• PAPS: 152
• SLAPS: 190

She can bend it like Beckham and fight pirates, but Kiera Knightley continues to fail at gaining the affections from British women. Despite her impressive CV, the fact a chip has more fat than her entire body seems to rile the rest of the country. Her stale acting and skinny frame is like nails down a chalk board for females who continue to verbalise their plain dislike for the actress. Pretending not to care that she is more disliked than the common cold is probably her best performance yet. The boring roles keep flooding in.