Holy Moly! - Noel Gallagher

Noelier than thou

John Hill — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:54:04 +0000

Noel Gallagher will celebrate when Maggie Thatcher dies, might be a bad man after all

OR SO WE THOUGHT.

In a shocking revelation that has rocked the ENTIRE STAFF at Holy Moly TO THEIR CORE, our little pumpkin angel princess Noel has revealed that everything we thought we knew about him was wrong. He's no angel, in fact he's not even a pumpkin princess. BECAUSE NOEL GALLAGHER SECRETLY HARBOURS A DESIRE TO KILL DEFENCELESS OLD LADIES. (Via his blog)

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Music, is it just for kids?

John Hill — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 16:50:53 +0000

NME Awards nominations: five new awards, no new nominees

In terms of the actual nominees it looks like the same advert-based affair as most of the other awards ceremonies around at the moment. Harry Potter for best film? Fresh Meat for best show? Best Re-issue? Noel Fielding? Kasabian?

Anyway, here are the nominees:

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FIGHT!

John Hill — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 11:31:48 +0000

Noel Gallagher wins NME's Godlike Genius, no word yet from Liam

Either way, both Liam Gallagher and his minions are going to be pretty pissed off about Noel winning the NME's Godlike Genius award this year. After all, not only did Liam write and perform all of Oasis' songs, he also let Noel take the credit. It's true. Noel had this to say in a recently released statement...

"I would like to thank NME for bestowing upon me such a great accolade,"

"I have dreamt of this moment since I was 43 years old. I accept that I am now a genius, just like God."

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Low-flying blows

John Hill — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 12:28:34 +0000

Noel Gallagher says Liam didn't understand his lyrics in Oasis, must have been difficult

As it happens, the barbed compliment this time was about Liam not really being good enough to be in Oasis, and Noel's brave attempts to help him out. Good old Noel. He's like a cross between Gandhi and Spandau Ballet:

"I often thought Liam's role in Oasis must have been difficult, singing somebody else's songs. You can read the words and understand [literally] what they mean but you don't instinctively understand them."

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Monkeys eating gnats

John Hill — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 10:05:21 +0000

Noel Gallagher admits the house Liam bought while ruining their US tour was 'nice'

Incidentally, we'd like to apologise to the New York Times for lifting this entire interview from their site, our only defence being that it's so good we couldn't find anything we wanted to cut. Maybe the bit about Noel's kids being rich and spoiled, oh actually, maybe we will cut that. Anyway, thanks NYT, you're all right.

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Legalliam Blonde

Peter Meehan — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 14:01:49 +0000

Noel Gallagher files his defence against Liam's libel action, makes some big accusations

As if you couldn't tell the story straight away from our re-interpretation of Brittany Murphy's interpretation of the theme song from The Spy Who Loved me, it seems that Noel Gallagher has filed a 14-page document over in defence of brother Liam's libel action earlier this year.

In it, Noel accuses Liam of a catalogue of terrible, violent acts against both his body and his spirit. They include:

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Low hanging fruit

John Hill — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 11:45:47 +0000

Noel Gallagher met Katie Holmes, she was rude, much prefers Steve Martin and ZZ Top

That's right, Katie Holmes was rude to Noel. Apparently she doesn't like being caught on camera, what with all that magic stuff floating around in her blood. Writing on his blog, Noel had this to say about their meeting before the Late Show With David Letterman:

"We literally bumped into that top Scientologist Katie Holmes on the way into the studio. We came out of the lift and BANG, there she was."

"Now at this point my mate, and friend of the stars, Scully was doing a bit of filming for my website and managed to capture the moment,"

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Que?

Gemma Exley — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:53:29 +0000

Q Awards 2011: all the red carpet arrivals and complete winners list

The Q Awards start in the morning, so that means right now everyone's either a drunken disgrace or at home doing paper work and watching Come Dine With Me. We can't really judge this crowd; Chris Martin's trainers definitely look like his fun trainers, but we're not sure if Gwynnie will let him stay out late. The Horrors certainly don't seem to be in the mood for it, so thank you to Noel and Sara for at least looking happy to be there.

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Shoot a poo at the sun

John Hill — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 10:13:36 +0000

Noel Gallagher's kids don't care about his music, he doesn't care about Vauxhall

Although more recently, despite his well publicised hatred of confectionery, he's actually been talking a lot more about his kids, what they mean to him and what his music means to them: (Via The Daily Star)

“They were never big Oasis fans."

“There’s a song on my new album called If I Had A Gun. The lyrics go: ‘If I had a gun I’d shoot a hole in the sun,’ but my eldest son Donovan changed them to: ‘If I had a gun I’d shoot a poo out of my bum.'”

Very true. It's pretty safe to say we probably all would, Donovan. We all would.

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Poke him in the throat

John Hill — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 10:05:24 +0000

Noel Gallagher talks about the X Factor and how insane Louis Walsh is

Anyway, here he is talking to Absolute Radio's Christian O'Connell about X Factor and how insane and irritating Louis Walsh is. Go on, have a listen.

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