Thankfully, after all these stories about death and kiddy fiddling, it looks like there might be a light at the end of the tunnel. There's only so much you can read about spiralling (no one ever spirals up do they?), drugs and death before the whole thing becomes a bit dreary and starts to bring you down. Which is why we thought you all might like to hear a heartwarming story about Ozzy Osbourne's new puppy. It's so cute. And soft. AND IT SMELLS LIKE FRESHLY WASHED BELLYBUTTONS.

Ozzy Osbourne is at the point in his life where he's quite happy to spend all his time discussing how much drinking and drugging (of himself, of course) he did back in the halcyon days at Sabbath's peak, to any journalist that will listen. Which is nice for us, because almost everything that comes out of his mouth is gold, and we'd much rather stick that up than some quote from Katie Price about avoiding divorce or how to raise a child that may or may not be yours. Admittedly there is the odd nugget of shit here and there, but it's mostly gold. If only we could say the same about the rest of his family. Well, we kind of can, but won't. Buggers, aren't we?