Holy Moly! - Paris Hilton

Waking Up In Vegas. Alone

Gemma Exley — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:26:16 +0000

Katy Perry makes appearance in Vegas, shows Russell what he's missing (a crap night out)

A small prize from the HM stationary cupboard for the person who comes up with the best caption for whatever Hilton is saying on the phone.

FYI, we say it looks like a crap night, but if it's anything to do with charity, we apologise... We see the big cheque book has come up - it could be for a good cause or just because Hilton's got large hands.

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Bitch and the Sundance kids

Gemma Exley — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 09:47:43 +0000

Sundance Film Festival 2012: Christina Hendricks, Aaron Paul, Pacey Witter & Hilton

Yes, Paris, we know you did have that one low budget film out a while ago, but you're really not welcome.

Remember a few years ago when Sundance's founder Robert Redford said he didn't like Hilton but couldn't stop her from turning up at the festival? Well, she's been every time since. Her skin is thicker than her mince meat brain.

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Paw vs poor

Gemma Exley — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 12:46:49 +0000

Weinstein Company Golden Globes after party: Lohan gets trumped by Uggie the dog, obvs

According to reports, all the proper celebs like Uggie the dog from The Artist, Michelle Williams, Alexander Skarsgard, Meryl Streep, Tilda Swinton etc, were ushered through the proper entrance to Harvey Weinstein's Golden Globes party. Obviously Lindsay Lohan didn't have an invite, so she apparently snuck through the back and then pushed her way to the front to pose for pictures. Because Uggie's too classy for the 'beg' pose, Lohan took it over. Rumours that she later got her chops around a bone unconfirmed.

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The Smell of Paris

John Hill — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 14:28:48 +0000

Paris Hilton made $1.3 billion last year, is still becoming richer, more detestable

Unfortunately, she's now returned and it turns out that what she was actually doing on her break from slavishly taking her clothes off in public was travelling the world and attempting to launch Paris Hilton as a global presence, most likely in a very similar way to that of Spanish flu in 1918.

Her first stop on the road back to the House Where Dogs Look Like Cats was with popular men's magazine FHM, where she spoke about being rich, how British boys aren't just a bunch of drunken thugs and how a surprisingly large number of people have a clinically sterile nose:

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Putting the BAH in Kasbah

Gemma Exley — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 17:00:02 +0000

Richard Branson's Rock The Kasbah party, Victoria Hervey tries to remind us who she is

Celebs in attendance also included Paris Hilton, Natalie Imbruglia, Will.I.am, Geena Davis, Audrina Patridge and Branson's mum, last seen being carried out of a burning wreckage by Kate Winslet.

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Trick or treat? Bit of both really

Gemma Exley — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 09:47:54 +0000

Halloween 2011: the best and worst of celebrity costumes

Over in ol' Hallmark-sponsored America, however, things got slightly better - albeit less original; we have Jessica Alba as a witch, Gwen Stefani as Cinderella, Amanda Seyfried as a dog, Paris Hilton as She-Ra, Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Kors as a Zombie Mariachi man, Kim Kardashian as Poison Ivy, Ice T as an inmate and CoCo just as herself.

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Coke lover Paris Hilton gets shot

Gemma Exley — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 14:12:34 +0000

Caption competition: Paris Hilton

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There ain’t no party like a vacuous heiress’ party!

BeccaDP — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 11:18:06 +0000

Petra Ecclestone has more lavish wedding than Kim Kardashian

The wedding, at the same castle that saw the 100% genuine Cruise-Holmes nuptials in 2006, is reported to have cost somewhere in the region of £5million. That might seem a lot to you, us and all the starving babies in the world, but Petra just spunked £85million on her new LA home so it’s all relative.

Petra’s wedding dress is reported to be worth around £130,000, so we can only assume it is made of cocaine and diamonds. Which is lucky, because we can’t think of anything heiresses love more (except maybe Daddy, obviously).

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The world according to Paris

John Hill — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 08:42:51 +0000

Quote of the day: Paris Hilton says the world hates her, and that you're all very mean

She's the most hated person around. No-one is hated more than her, no dictator, no war criminal, no murderer, no paedophile. No-one. People simply don't have enough energy left to hate anyone else, because they're all too busy hating her, an inconsequential socialite. (Via her godawful reality show on Oxygen)

'I feel like the whole world hates me sometimes. They are so mean. I don't do anything to hurt anyone. I try to be happy, make everyone happy.'

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Paris Jilts-him

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 16:20:04 +0000

Paris Hilton storms out of TV interview after their cheek to ask if she's a has-been

It's like when someone makes the mistake of going travelling in Asia for six months with their brand new boyfriend/girlfriend, has a full-blown argument with them on the first night and storms out into the streets of Thailand with not a fucking clue where to go, left with no option but to go back to hotel room and make peace with a person they only now realise is a comeplete and utter twat.

The only difference is the complete and utter twat in this instance is the one doing the storming out, Paris Hilton.

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