Holy Moly! - Piers Morgan

American't she fit in?

John Hill — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 08:32:06 +0000

Simon Cowell explains to Piers Morgan why he sacked Cheryl from US X Factor

Speaking to Moleman Morgan on his show, Tonight With Moleman Morgan, Cowell explained to the plasticine-faced newsmaker that not everyone was a morally bankrupt bottom feeder, and then mentioned Cheryl as a fine example of someone with metaphorical cardiomegaly. At which point they both laughed and looked knowingly at each other, as if they were the same person, somehow spilt into two.

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One leg of evil

John Hill — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 10:09:28 +0000

Piers Morgan accuses Heather Mills of hacking Paul McCartney's phone, is 'hacked off'

Or do we? Maybe it was those rascally scoundrels all along. Maybe poor old Rupert The Murdoch was nothing but a yellow trousered (and eyed) patsy for those evil, fame hungry stars of stage and screen. Evil masterminds like Heather 'Thrills, Pills and (nasty) Spills' Mills. Or at least so says Piers while talking to his best pal Conan O'Brien about Heather's recent accusations that Piers had been a phonehacker of Macca:

'I kind of thought when Heather Mills poked her head up above the parapet, the whole thing got completely ridiculous,'

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That's Morgan enough, Piers

John Hill — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 10:13:45 +0000

Piers Morgan explains how it was everyone's fault but his that Amy Winehouse died

Which is why Piers Morgan is so special. As far as we can remember, not one person outside of the celebrity world has ever said anything nice about him, or even said that they don't hate him. Oh Piers.

Mind you, when he comes out with unqualifiable, hypocritical little gems like this, it's hardly surprising. Yes, it was everyone's fault but yours that Amy Winehouse died Piers. Aren't you just a little angel? What's that? You're currently under investigation for phone hacking? No, of course that doesn't mean you should get off your high horse. Oh Piers. (Via Access Hollywood)

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Something something hair joke.

BeccaDP — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:17:18 +0000

The Celebrity Apprentice USA, BBC1

Episode one is all about introductions, but we didn’t pay much attention because a.) we genuinely do not know or care who 75% of the candidates are and mainly b.) The Wig said “mercantile” but we heard “merkin tile” and we spent 10 minutes Googling “merkin tile” Anyway, The Wig pitches the man celebrities against the lady celebrities, and the first person to bring him a merkin tile wins, or something.

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Rating: 3

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'Pippa's is approximately this size'

Harry Bow — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 09:18:28 +0000

Hollywood types queue up to meet Kate and William at BAFTA Brits To Watch party

The BAFTA Brits to Watch party was apparently an initiative to put UK rising talent in the spotlight. Too bad that the royals turned up and stole all attention from the newcomers really, although Prince William is president of the academy so we're sure he gave an inspiring pep talk about all his experience in the film industry *tumbleweeds roll by*

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Suuuop!

Harry Bow — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 10:28:16 +0000

Last night's ITV Summer Party, invite list extended far and wide

Just kiddin', we love Pollard really. In fact, you can forgot about Jay-Z's remake of Annie starring Willow Smith because Pollard will be appearing in a stage adaptation of the film at Poole's Lighthouse Centre this autumn. Sit on that, Hollywood.

Also at the ITV Summer Party, which was held in Notting Hill, we have the TOWIE lot, Richard Bacon, Nicky Clarke, Myleene Klass, Michael Ball, Martin Kemp, Lynda Bellingham, Lembit Opik, John Sergeant, Jeff Brazier, Emma Bunton, Elen Rivas and more (ie, the 'all talent' mailing list in the party-planning committee's address book).

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30 Rock's still here

John Hill — Tue, 17 May 2011 10:16:48 +0000

NBC Upfront: Christina Aguilera, Tina Fey, Chevy Chase and Elle Macpherson

Anyway, at the jolly event which we don't fully understand you can hopefully see Chevy Chase, Christina Aguilera, Christina Applegate, Debra Messing, Elle Macpherson, Piers Morgan and Tina Fey. We can explain the presence of maybe 40 percent of these lot.

Oh well.

Also, for some reason the NBC logo seems to follow you around the room.

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Who’d win a fight between Simon Cowell and Knight Rider?

Tim Chipping — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 16:03:23 +0000

Replacing the male stars of ITV1’s flagship gong show are David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff and Michael “observational comedian” McIntyre. And judging from the first episode, which we were lucky enough to be given a preview of, the new “sparky” judges have allowed the BGT editors to ramp up the energy, speed and volume accordingly. BGT is now as fast-cut and wooshy as an Edgar Wright movie. We needed a lie down after.

So without giving too much away, here’s what you’re getting this Saturday:

An intro that seems to be pretending SuBo won.

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Most Valuable Player/Massively Vulnerable to Paedophiles

John Hill — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 10:32:46 +0000

NBA All-Star weekend: Justin Bieber wins MVP in celebrity match

Anyway, he's also good at basketball supposedly, and during the weekend's NBA All-Star celebrity match he was named Most Valuable Player. By his fans. Congratulations Justin. Seriously. Well done.

Luckily for anyone who's actually managed to hit puberty, Justin wasn't the only famous person knocking around over the weekend, so we've put together a charming gallery of all the other celebrity basketball fans. And Piers Morgan.

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Gold Diggers

HM writer — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 14:16:49 +0000

Piers Morgan triples rating with debut US show, refuses to interview Heather Mills

Speaking to Entertainment Weekly, Piers said:

"I introduced her to Paul McCartney. Fact. At the 1999 Daily Mirror Pride of Britain Awards, I brought them both to the event.

"Paul sat next to me, asked me all about her. I said: "I think you'd get on brilliantly; she's a vegetarian, she's very attractive, intelligent."

Piers never was very good with first impressions...

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