Holy Moly! - Russell Brand

(.)(.)

Gemma Exley — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:04:37 +0000

Katy Perry signs Russell Brand divorce papers with a smiley face :(

Still, she has reason to smile now that it's been confirmed that Brand isn't looking to callously swipe $20m from her bank account. As if he would've - he's an honest guy. Actually, he's not - he hasn't even put his middle name on the document (Edward, FYI).

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

'unbrand me!'

Gemma Exley — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 12:31:47 +0000

Russell Brand might be getting Katy Perry tattoo removed, may also play Worzel Gummidge

As well as visiting a very unparlour-y tattoo parlour, Brand has reportedly been in talks to star as Worzel Gummidge in a new movie film adaption.

Talking about the adaptation, Patrick Pidgeon told The Daily Star:

"The actor who plays Worzel doesn't have to look like John Pertwee.

"I want to come up with a new way of how the character became Worzel. And maybe we could take him out of a rural setting into a Victorian town."

Why not get Christina Aguilera then?

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

I kissed a girl who looked like that other girl

Gemma Exley — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:36:39 +0000

Russell Brand allegedly likes Zooey Deschanel, might have mistaken her for Katy Perry

So, talking to OK! Magazine, a source claimed the recently-separated Brand likes the recently-divorced Deschanel, so much so that he's been sending her 'flirty' texts. The insider said:

“Russell has had his eye on Zooey for a long time. And he’s been sending funny, flirty texts to see if they can get together. He thinks she’s hysterically funny and cute too. He loves her quirky sense of humor and thinks they’d be great together both on and off screen. There’s a real spark there.”

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

There’s an opera singer inside of him, apparently

Tim Chipping — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:49:08 +0000

Tom Cruise born to be in musicals says Rock of Ages co-star

Rock of Ages, as far as we can make out, is a romcom musical set amidst the 1980s L.A. rock scene, and features various big hair classics from the era. It doesn’t sound like our sort of thing.

But according to his co-star, Julianne Hough, Tom Cruise is a right old screamer.

"Oh, he's fantastic," Hough told MTV. "If I remember correctly, I hear his ... grandparents or something were opera singers, so he has this tone and this pitch that is incredible.

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Perry bad taste

John Hill — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 10:24:44 +0000

Katy Perry and Russell Brand split because he made jokes about her parents

After all, it's not like he's suddenly changed for the worse; he's always been a charmingly outspoken horsecock. He's written two books about being a charmingly outspoken horsecock. He's been on tour with his stand-up show The Charmingly Outspoken Horsecock. He's even openly described himself as a charmingly outspoken horsecock (paraphrasing a bit) in interviews. So why is everyone so surprised when he acts like a massive horse cock? WHAT A CRAZY WORLD WE ALL LIVE IN, EH READERS?

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Brand new b*llshit

Gemma Exley — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 12:26:48 +0000

Dubious Katy and Russell story of the day: his love of wheelchair porn drove her away

Following suggestions that Brand will ruthlessly swoop in for half Perry's fortune (we sincerely doubt this), Us Weekly now reports that Katy couldn’t satisfy Russell’s sexual desires, with a source saying:

“Katy was kinky enough during their first times together and he was very attracted to her.

"When things got bad, if they got a roll in the hay, they were always better after.”

However, the 'insider' added that it was “never enough”, continuing:

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Fireworks, after all

Mr. HM — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 20:07:44 +0000

Russell Brand divorces Katy Perry

Yup, despite the usual denials of divorce, his statement reads:

"Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I'll always adore her and I know we'll remain friends."

He appeared on Ellen earlier this month doing his best impression of a football manager languishing at the bottom of the table, insisting he has the full support of the board when he said:

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Cold n cold

Gemma Exley — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 15:40:19 +0000

Perry and Brand have a deep and meaningful chat about the state of their relationship

Talking to Us Weekly, a source said:

"They had a massive fight. She was like, 'F--k you. I'm going to do my own thing.' Russell replied, 'Fine, f--k you too.'"

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Tom Cruise, straight and ready to mate

John Hill — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 09:38:54 +0000

Rock of Ages Trailer: most cringeworthy trailer we've ever seen

Incidentally, Tom Cruise for most unbelievable character of the decade?

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT

Last Friday Night

Gemma Exley — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 11:59:21 +0000

Katy Perry has a cowboy birthday party, Russell Brand and several wacky hipsters attend

Obviously this is all just sour grapes because we secretly wish we'd been there (only for the sticky ribs and mini burgers, mind you), but we're really not sure how Russell Brand tolerated even a few minutes of the party sober. We've not read the 12 steps - perhaps one is 'tolerate hipster revellers even when they're zanily planking on a bucking bronco whilst wearing chaps'...

Reviews

Open Graph Type: article

Rating: NONE

Image:

No Woot: WOOT