After watching a lot of Bear Grylls recently, we've got some truly amazing ideas for Who Wants To Be A Celebrity In The Forest? or whatever it's called. Basically, you put all the contestants through a gruelling SAS training regime before crushing three of their vertebrae in a parachuting accident. Can you imagine what great TV that would make? Imagine seeing Natalie Cassidy crawling across the forest floor on her hands and knees, face wracked with a pain like none she's never felt before, just so she can piss in a hole in the ground while a TV crew looks on, regardless. We smell BAFTA.

Last night was the premiere of David Gest's The Life of an Icon – Michael Jackson, a film which aims to 'set the record straight' about the singer. Yeah, good luck with that one, Gest, 34 days into the trial and Conrad Murray still hasn't spoken. But aside from that, record set totally straight - straighter than....[SNIP]