In case you didn't know, Mario Balotelli is a notorious idiot. Or, in other words, he's your typical footballer. In the past he has broken into a women's prison with a friend, posed with an AC Milan strip while playing for Inter and been dumped by a girlfriend live on television. His latest brainless action? Cheating on girlfriend Sophie Reade with one of her best friends while she was waiting for him in the bedroom downstairs.

Like a virus, the Only Way is Essex cast have started appearing at every and any event in London (a metaphor that doesn't entirely make sense, but sometimes it's the thought that counts). What we want to know, is why would they spoil our favourite programme by turning up and being themselves? That's not what we want to see at all, we want to see exactly what we expect Essex life to be like; women fighting in full makeup and men spending their ill gotten gains on going to the gym, tanning and doing laundry (it's a Jersey thing).    TOWIE is so good we actually had a friend from Romford tell us the other day that the programme gives Essex a bad name. Assuming that he knew what people thought beforehand, that's some good TV you've got right there.