Holy Moly! - Steve Jones

LAters, Steve

John Hill — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:25:37 +0000

Steve Jones sacked from X Factor USA: UK pleased, Steve Jones not so much

Which is still kind of true, or at least it would be if Steve Jones hadn't been on the last series of the US X Factor. We'll happily ship our Cheryl Coles, our Natasha Bedingfields, our Mel Bs, our Piers Morgans and our Mick Hucknalls over to California, but Steve Jones? He deserves better. It's not that he's necessarily more talented than any of the others, just more charming.

So it's with a certain amount of satisfaction that we welcome him back to the UK after being fired from X Factor USA. Yes yes, everyone's heartbroken, chance of a lifetime, etc. (Via Twitter)

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Child labour

John Hill — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 13:25:37 +0000

The X Factor USA: 13 yr old Rachel Crow gets kicked off, everyone cries, goes mental

As for you Nicole Scherzinger, pull yourself together. What a ridiculous woman you are. Cheryl Cole's already been booted out of the show, you don't need to leak at the slightest opportunity like she did.

(All the action starts at about 4.30, if you couldn't care less about the judges, by the way)

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Hope he's Ready To Rumble

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 10:06:54 +0000

Steve Jones rumoured to be dating Georgie Thompson, off Declan Donnelly's Xmas card list

We don't imagine Steve Jones will be receiving a Christmas card from Declan Donnelly come December...

It's like a big TV presenting love triangle. Dec and Georgie only ended their two year relationship a few months ago, but the X Factor USA host has already swooped in and offered the Sky Sports anchor a slice of the Jones pie. And who could resist that? Eh ladies? Oooooof, phwooooooar etc etc.

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It’s time! To face! Even more muuuusiiiic!

BeccaDP — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 15:52:11 +0000

X Factor US Launch in Los Angeles

Here are pics of Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Nicole Scherzinger, L.A. Reid and the lovely Steve Jones, at the Los Angeles launch of the show. As well as being beamed into American homes, the X Factor USA will be screened on ITV2, for all us disgusting British people to watch.

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'I DON'T WANNA DIE WITH THIS MUSIC INSIDE ME'

Sat, 03 Sep 2011 09:42:21 +0000

Watch four audition teaser videos for the X Factor USA

In the first of the four teasers, we've got potty-mouth Xander getting all uppity with Cowell, responding to his every question with a bitchy remark of his own before being told to "shut it and start singing".

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Irish he Walshent so vocal

John Hill — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 14:40:10 +0000

Louis Walsh says America is rubbish, is glad he wasn't invited for the US X Factor

That's right, Louis has been a real chatty Cathy with our direct rivals Heat, trying to persuade the world that in no way is he resentful about not being included on the American X Factor, and not only that, but Cheryl and Dermot are lucky to have been turned down. Lucky, he tells ye:

"It's a different world. America is so fake and everybody is a wannabe over there. They can be so insincere. Give me the UK any time. I keep saying that to Dermot [O'Leary]."

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WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 09:26:11 +0000

X Factor USA preview airs, Simon Cowell tries his hand at acting

"This is a different decade. It's not about me anymore, it's about them. I want to make people's dreams come true... My attitude this year? Helping others make a better tomorrow", Simon says, before jolting up in bed and proclaiming:

"WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE!"

And it really is a horrible nightmare for old Si.

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Jump His Bones

Harry Bow — Mon, 09 May 2011 09:01:12 +0000

Introducing X Factor USA host Steve Jones to the American audience

Okay, so our transatlantic friends probably won't be able to tell what the 34-year-old Welsh host is saying when the show launches, but they'll certainly be able to hear the eyes whispering 'come to bed' and that's all that really matters... Here's a brief biog:

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Dermot won't be too happy

Sun, 08 May 2011 08:50:52 +0000

Steve Jones and Nicole Scherzinger to host X Factor USA, get the subtitles rolling

Like him or not (which we kind of do), you've got to commend Steve Jones for getting this job. There is no bigger job vacancy in the world right now, and he's come all the way from hosting Sunday morning television to teenagers and a programme where Katie Price prances about dressed as Freddie Mercury to this. We reckon he's going to be a resounding success, become a bona fide Hollywood-er and marry a Victoria's Secret model.

Good work, Steve. So how do you feel about this new job, then? Shitting yourself? Thought so.

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Finally

John Hill — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 10:00:12 +0000

Konnie Huq, Holly Valance and Gordon Brown celebrate Piers Morgan leaving the country

Of course, since Piers became pally with Simon Cowell, the shadowy emperor of the UK, he's been on the up and up and his disgraced days at The Mirror are all but forgotten. So now, rather than slapping the man who looks and sounds like a slightly worried mole, everyone (including former Prime Ministers apparently) turn up to his public circlejerks.

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