The Mayfair Hotel, the biggest celebrity arse-kissers in the whole of Albion have sensationally BANNED Tanya Macintosh from coming near them or their guests after the princess set off a fire alarm so that JLS would come outside and see her. What's wrong with that you killjoys?

The half-eaten prawn sandwiches are being swept into the bin, the half-empty champagne bottles are being downed by the cleaners and the red carpet is being rolled up (and given a good scrub down) as this year's Ivor Novello Awards have only just finished. The big winner of the day was Lily Allen, taking home three awards. But we can't help but wonder why N-Dubz didn't even get a look in?