Holy Moly! - Tiger Woods

Jon Bon Jovi told us to do it

John Hill — Thu, 19 May 2011 09:48:02 +0000

Forbes 100 most powerful celebrities: Lady Gaga wins! Twitter champion! Perfect!

All jokes aside though, what is it actually based on? Apparently it's a complex algorithm involving the number of Twitter followers and Facebook fans each potential magnate has, timesed by how close their agent is to the editor of Forbes and how much they've spent on ads in the magazine. The resulting number is so precise it's actually wrong because it's so right. Like the love between a bee and a chrysanthemum.

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Might as well face it, she's addicted to love (yeah right)

HM writer — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 12:16:19 +0000

Tiger Woods' alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel claims she's addicted to love, world sobs

Uchitel, who lost her fiance during theReviews

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Cloud seven, ninth heaven??

HM writer — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 13:54:49 +0000

Tiger Woods affair: Loredana Jolie releases tell-all book, blames the wife

Jolie, who laughs in Juci Jeni's face by charging up to £7,000-a-night for sex, insists that she had sex with Tiger, like, 20 times, and sometimes with other women, claiming:

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Fore (ty million dollars)!

Mr. HM — Tue, 04 May 2010 10:14:37 +0000

Tiger Woods divorce: lawyers are called in and prepared to pay out, BIG.

The Sun have jumped on the bandwagon this morning and report that Tiger has hired golf player divorce specialist Jeff Fisher, who handled Greg Norman's divorce (which only cost him a measly $100million).

Elin, pictured here in Sweden, is said to be heading back to the US to battle it out with Tiger - the main problem being that she wants to move back to her homeland permanently and Tiger is worried about how often he will see their kids. You know, it's not like he can afford to fly to see them often, is it?

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(Calm) Down Tiger

HM writer — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:43:31 +0000

Tiger Wood reportedly had 120 affairs, Elin Nordegren continues to file for divorce

The National Enquirer is claiming that the golfer admitted to as many women as part of his treatment in rehab. What a terrible affliction it must be, having to shag loads of women all the time. Our heart also goes out to Jesse James.

Meanwhile, could only find about eight women that Tiger has allegedly been linked to (one more!) but we're sure the rest reads just like the FHM Sexy Women list...

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Wooden count on it

Mr. HM — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 07:54:40 +0000

HM Exclusive: Elin Nordegren is 100 per cent divorcing Tiger Woods very soon

Our source, who has spoken to Tiger recently, said:

"The couple are doing their best to keep up appearances but in reality are just going through the motions. Elen will be divorcing him really, really soon. She just can't forgive him."

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Just do it (with everyone)

HM writer — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 10:27:56 +0000

Tiger Woods scandal continues, films bizarre advert for Nike

It's being alleged that Woods slept with 22-year-old Raychel Coudriet (doesn't roll off the tongue quite like Jamie Jungers) in his office and next door to one of his children's cribs.

It's being reported that he 'wooed' the student last year by inviting her to play golf and requesting she "clean his golf balls" (a euphemism for sucking his testicles - presumably).

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Down Tiger!

HM writer — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:36:32 +0000

New porn star Devon James alleges two year fling with Tiger Woods, looks rough

Porn star Devon James rang up to tell a US radio show that she enjoyed a fling with Woods for over two years, describing the sex as "dirty" and claiming he only mentioned his wife Elin (who now wants to divorce Woods) to say that she wasn't up for sex. She added that "there was very little talk the first time" and before long he gave her his personal number and was asking for a "two-girl party", an indecipherable code name for er, threesomes. This reportedly cost him, £2,600.

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You are a TIGER!

Mr. HM — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 09:52:08 +0000

Tiger Woods sex texts revealed, eye opening and grim as you like

Joslyn James set up her own website to show us what everyone presumed to be fact anyway - that Tiger Woods watches far too much hardcore porn. Ehat's also good (ie bad) is that he switches from being some kind of pseudo Rocco to a golfing Rain Man - obsessed with times, numers, doors etc.

Very weird indeed.

Brace yourself - here's the (very) long texts - don't say I didn't warn you...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tiger: Sent: 05:46 PM 07/30/2009:
Heading back from the course now.

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The best a married man can get

HM writer — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:19:09 +0000

Jamie Jungers wins Best Mistress (allegedly) of Tiger Woods at pageant

Jamie Jungers was awarded $75,000 and a tiara from the US equivalent of Claire's Accesories and wept tears of joy before saying that she felt truly blessed and thanked God.

Jamie Grubbs was less than pleased at coming second place, winning a measly $15,000 and storming off before even attending the press conference once the pageant had finished.

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