Holy Moly! - Vinnie Jones

Lock Stock and Two Smoking Haddocks

John Hill — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 16:19:43 +0000

Jason Statham and Vinnie Jones to open fish and chip shop in Hollywood

But, despite some serious health warnings, they've gone and done it anyway. Unfortunately they've chosen what must constitute on of the worst names for a takeaway we've ever heard. Admittedly, it does mean something to the both of them, but Lock Stock and Two Smoking Haddocks is still absolutely awful, no matter how much nostalgia you attach to it.

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A very ugly brawl

Ollie Irish — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 10:26:48 +0000

Vinnie Jones Gets In Street Fight With Co-Star

Tamer Hassan, some actor bloke

Jones told The Sun:

"Me and Tamer had words and a bit of a scuffle like a lot of blokes do on a weekend after a drink and a curry. We're making a movie together next week. It'll all be forgotten about by then."

It will be forgotten about, Vin - but not as forgotten about as your acting career.

BONUS 'Vinnie is a lovely fella' anecdote:

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Dear God, No

Ollie Irish — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 15:54:06 +0000

Vinnie Jones Wants To Remake 'Escape To Victory'

It gets worse. Jones aims to update the film by setting it in Afghanistan or Iraq. This is 'Mean Machine' all over again, only much much worse.

In his latest column for Loaded, Jones said:

"We're in pre-production, and I'm in the process of buying the rights to the title off Paramount films, so hopefully you'll be able to see it in cinemas by Christmas. I'll be in it, of course [of course!], but I'll also be producing it, which is more exciting.

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Escape To Victoria, David

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 10:40:35 +0000

Vinnie Jones to remake Escape To Victory, thinks David Beckham will take lead role

There's no doubt that Beckham, the world's most famous man, earning more than £20M per year, would jump at the chance to join forces with Vinnie Jones, the world's least famous man, who recently finished third in Celebrity Big Brother.

If you've not seen it (count yourself lucky), the original 1981 film told the story of a team of allied POWs taking on the Nazis in a football match and eventually escaping from the Germans. Michael Caine and Sylvester Stallone were the only actors in amongst a collection of footballing legends such as Bobby Moore and Pele.

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Snatch of the Day

HM writer — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 12:32:05 +0000

Vinnie Jones to open Snatch Bar with Jason Statham, fails to win over public

Yes, that ought to do the trick.

Vinnie said:

"Me and Jay have been talking about it for about a year. We were thinking The Snatch Bar or something like that down in Santa Monica. We're going to do it, it's just a question of us finding the time."

Wow, he's so close to Statham that he calls him 'Jay'. Fitting name for the bar too.

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Big Brother house this really IS Davina!

Mr. HM — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 10:49:57 +0000

Celebrity Big Brother 2010: Davina McCall to become a housemate!

The housemates will be taking part in a task that involves them being dressed as animals. The first person to get the boot will be done as a surprise via the diary room and will give their costume to Davina, who will then go into the house. Housemates will be banned from talking to her.

This has been an amazing series. Why did it take them so long to get it so right?

Pics are from the task you'll see tonight, where they all make clay heads a la Lionel Ritchie in the 'Hello' video. Nice to see Alex paying tribute to his missus.

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Oi! No!

Mr. HM — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 16:17:35 +0000

Celebrity Big Brother 2010: Why Vinnie should NOT win Celebrity Big Brother

Let's get one thing clear. He should not win, he shouldn't even still be in the house.

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Totally Offal

Mr. HM — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:31:44 +0000

Celebrity Big Brother 2010: Housemates treated like pieces of meat

I can't be sure, but I could have sworn these were stills from Katie and Dane's sex tape, but apparently not. The housemates were given the task of rebuilding a whole cow using a wire frame and a whole pile of meat, intestines and offal.

The reward is God's own food - Roast Beef and yorkshire pudding. Yum!

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Vinnie Jones

Mr. HM — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 12:31:52 +0000

Vinnie Jones used to be a mediocre footballer hard man but gave that up to become a mediocre actor hard man instead.

He played for Wimbledon, Leeds United, Sheffield United and Chelsea before being cast in 'Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels' by Guy Ritchie (He also appeared in 'Snatch').

He is most famous for squeezing Paul Gascoigne's testicles which must be incredibly depressing for someone who put his heart and soul into Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins' Ball.

Hes had several brushes with the law, most of them involving him hitting people in the face.

Image: _t_vinnie-jones.jpg

Occupation: Actor

Best Work: Gazza's balls

Worst Work: Almost everything else

Worth: ££££

Significant Other: Wife Tanya and 2 children

Most Likely To: Be quite hard

Date of Birth: 05/01/1965

Paps: 252

Slaps: 342

Celebrity Big Boo-Boo

HM writer — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 10:26:16 +0000

Dane Bowers and Alex Reid best friends, bruised forehead just a coincidence

But only briefly, and just to set tasks for the other celebrity contestants. After all, he's still being punished for the false imprisonment of a male escort and it's hardly fair to reward him £400,000 for that. Mind you, Sisqo may have some skeletons in his closet...

Boy George, real name George O'Dowd, had Tweeted last week:

"I still may do something on CBB, I just won't be in it."

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