Wayne Rooney

  • Name: Wayne Rooney
  • Age: 26
  • Occupation: Footballer
  • Best work: Footy
  • Worst work: Losing his rag
  • Worth: £££
  • Significant others: Coleen Rooney
  • Most likely to: be seen advertising Pampers in a few months

Although skilled with his feet and can boot a ball about a pitch for England, as soon as he opens his mouth, we return to Neanderthal territory and it's best for everyone's sake (particularly his) that he quickly shuts it again. Since marrying WAG Coleen (and having a baby) the pair have been the council estate, Liverpudlian version Posh and Becks - except swap the Armani ads for ASDA and the Beckhams' hair for, well, nothing in Wayne's case.

 

In 2010, after a terrible performance at the World Cup,  Wayne Rooney was caught cheating on Coleen with a prostitute. Coleen, however, was very forgiving and let him back. In the same year he also signed a record breaking new contract with Man United. Coleen was probably wise to stay.

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Coleen Rooney, Fabio Capello, Steven Gerrard, Wayne Rooney sex scandal, Wayne Rooney pictures, Frank Lampard, Jenny Thompson, Alex Ferguson, Wags, Coleen Rooney pictures

Recent Wayne Rooney stories

One of the largest known Basmati rice hauls from the last four days.
Jessie J, Lily Allen and others tweet about London riots, some might say unnecessarily 10/08/2011 - 11:22 by John Hill
Firstly, we owe you an apology for our lack of tangible work yesterday afternoon (more so than usual). It's because we had been EVACUATED FROM OUR BUILDING DUE TO SECURITY CONCERNS. Bloody rioters, coming over here, refusing to take any jobs at all. Anyway, as you can imagine, as soon as the flare went up from our local Morrisons we were immediately hustled off to a secure bunker just under Whitehall where we unfortunately only had sporadic internet access, which of course we had to prioritise for porn and media piracy, so were unable to bring you the latest in fucked up famous people and shit, yo. Sorry about that.
 Comments: 8
Click the pic to see what hair he has
Wayne Rooney's Hair Watch: you can still count the hairs on his head 13/07/2011 - 15:21 by
Welcome to a new feature here at HM: Wayne Rooney's Hair Watch. What with all of us being blessed with beautiful, blooming locks of hair - none of which are yet to stage a mass exodus (*touches wood*) - we feel we have the full right to judge the state of famous footballer Wayne Rooney's hair growth. So, one month after the £30,000 operation on top of his shiny noggin, how hairy is it looking?
 Comments: 7
Glastonbury 2011 pictures: All the Friday fun of the fair, and trench foot
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Wayne Rooney has a hair transplant to cure his baldness, we can't wait for the photos
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Wayne Rooney signs five-year Man Utd contract - what a Roo-Turn!

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