I always thought Lily Cole was skinny. Well, skinny and weird-looking. Turns out she's the porker of the bunch.

Yes please I want one

Actually I'm fucking all your mums so shut the fuck up

*coffee all over the monitor*

Fuck me, the joke about the mum- how pathetic (and probably very young) you are mate. Why don't you just take your nescafé and fuck off? I've read HM for years, yet I'm always surprised to occasionally find a numpty like you lurching around with the "I fuck your mam" joke.

I'm not sucking anyone off, I just think it's a little pot/kettle to have a go at someone's humour, then make a really, really, pedestrian unfunny joke.

And I'm not in any club here, I like Cheryl Cole and don't know how to post pictures properly.

Forget Lowe, she's just a girl with an alright face. What about Lily Cole? Face like a fucking satellite dish. She could teach Sophie Ellis Bextor how to have a big face, that is how big her face is.

Ooh look the HM poster's club closes ranks. You're a bunch of sad fucking cunts and you know it. You'd better hurry up, you're late for your mutual sucking off session. You fucking bunch of spastics.

a) Kermits is actually really amusing.
b) Joking about fucking someone's mum? Wow. Just, wow. That's really funny. You win.

That's pretty rich coming from you. You seem to post on pretty much every fucking thing on this site. Sort your own worthless existence out before you criticise other people you fucking bell end. Me? I'm just killing time until your mum comes round for our weekly session.

Let me peruse your latest comments and see how I can extract some inspiration from your tedious bland words. Spend less time trying to work out what I'm saying you cunt and more finding yourself a decent job you numpty with too much time on his hands.

Daisy fucking Lowe - christ, there's uninteresting and unassuming for you. The bastard offspring of a renowned rock chick slapper and a boring fuckwit father, and who just happened to hang around slightly more famous people to her benefit. I'd rather see pics of Tanya McIntosh *barfs*

They all look as if they've got yeast and Lowe has lost it. Not that she ever had it. But sniffing up under Mark Ronson made her interesting. Now that he's buggered off, how ordinary she looks. I'll be sticking with my Pound Shop Almanac thankuveymuch.

Forget the Pirelli Calendar...if we can't have Cunts Corner, Mr HM should be giving us Cunts Calendar, for advent 2009.

Twenty-five selected celebrity cunts to open the door to each day in the exciting run-up. I'm nominating Katie Price for 25th - just prise open her rancid flaps and there's the hideous death mask that wins Cunt of the Year hands down

Alright ladies. Break it up now.

Well this place is full of spastics so unless you try a bit harder with your sarcasm - i.e. actually using some instead of making balls-out statements of fact with no humour or irony - it's pretty fucking hard to tell.

Which cunt could think I was being serious here. jesus wept..

Sigh. Try harder with the funny comments

Georgina Stoj looks fucking retarded. is the only criterion to be a model is to be tall and thin?

Bit gay

"Great - a calendar with semi naked teenagers whose bodies have not fully grown. I'd think I'd rather get the Ashley/Cheryl 2010 calendar in my Xmas stocking."

Are you fucking joking?

Or are you a homo?

Great - a calendar with semi naked teenagers whose bodies have not fully grown. I'd think I'd rather get the Ashley/Cheryl 2010 calendar in my Xmas stocking.

Lucky bugger