Amber Rose is almost ready to destroy the earth and claim it for her people

5Amber Rose and Kanye WestAmber Rose and Kanye WestadvertAmber Rose and Kanye WestAmber Rose and Kanye West

Amber Rose and Kanye WestAmber Rose and Kanye West

Rose West
Wed, 09/12/2009 - 15:28 by Mr. HM

Amber Rose took time out from masterminding her plot to destroy all humans to make room for her race of robot lesbians to inherit the earth by allowing her humble servant and sidekick Kanye West to buy her some sweets.

Like X Men's Cyclops, she cannot remove her protective headgarment for fear of revealing her dastardly plans before they are complete

It's a little known fact, but her eyes are actually made of solid blue cobalt mined from the planet Hungryanus, which when unleashed in fury, shoot a laser stright into the human soul, unwittingly persuading us mortals to have a bleached suedehead and dance to self indulgent, auto tuned crappy music.

True story.

Amber Rose pictures, Amber Rose, amber rose, Kanye West

Comments

  • supply brand handbags and wallet
    supply chanel and gucci hermes handag
    http://www.lookhandbag.com

    lsywlw Thu, 04/02/2010 - 04:41

  • I live in Derby, and did see someone wearing a HM t-shirt the other day. Hmmm. It would explain the general bitterness on this 'ere site.

    retrovertigo Fri, 11/12/2009 - 23:35

  • Mr. HM says...
    Shut up James you sad fuck. Oh boo hoo, this site isn't the same as it was 7 years ago boo hoo.

    Just to clarify this precedent you've just set for us all.
    We can now use known first names of moles?
    Ty.

    BonnyWill Fri, 11/12/2009 - 07:36

  • Derbyshire, really? omg, Derby, Notts?
    I'll be too scared to go out soon

    BonnyWill Fri, 11/12/2009 - 07:35

  • That Amber wotshername is a right ugly cunt ain't she?

    Blartmonster Thu, 10/12/2009 - 18:47

  • Fuck it I'm off to the Closer \ Heat \ Now magazine website

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Thu, 10/12/2009 - 18:24

  • Actually I was going to say something along the lines of empty vessels and most noise, but then the irony fucking sent me sprawling

    Blartmonster Thu, 10/12/2009 - 12:29

  • Okay, the site isn't the same but why the abuse? If it pisses you off this much, shouldn't you just go elsewhere? Let's face it, HM isn't claiming to be Private Eye is it? It's a gossip site. I think some perspective is needed. After all, if you think you could do better, you're free to go ahead and try.
    I'm not sure I like the site as much as I used to but calling HM a cunt for doing his job is just unneccessary. The problem with the internet is that any twat thinks their voice suddenly matters. And yes, I'm aware of the irony there before one of you Einsteins so cleverly points it out to me.

    charl25 Thu, 10/12/2009 - 11:41

  • I was wondering how long it would be before Mr "Oh-shit, what about my banner revenue" Holy Moly removed that.

    And yes, it isn't the same as it was 7 years ago... it's shit and you've shown yourself to be the cunt you've probably always been.

    Repugnant Thu, 10/12/2009 - 10:43

  • touched that horribly exposed raw nerve again.

    ps. "in spades" is not racist in the context i used it, you coward.

    unseemlydogposture Thu, 10/12/2009 - 09:53

  • Shut up James you sad fuck. Oh boo hoo, this site isn't the same as it was 7 years ago boo hoo.

    Mr. HM Thu, 10/12/2009 - 09:43

  • Of course he fucking has - every man has his price, and for the Derbyshire man it's a packet of B&H superkings and a crate of blue WKD. I mean, you can't claim all celebs are dull retards with the talent of a spoon and the likeability of arse cancer, but the 99% here are pretty much on that button.

    Welcome to the world of corporate cocksucking

    Blartmonster Wed, 09/12/2009 - 22:55

  • Yeah, what IS with all the stuff about the Saturdays HM? They're shit, practically unheard of by anyone over 16 and get most of their recognition by showing their gussets and falling out of shit nightclubs. You used to spew bile about people like this or at least ignore them. Is it true? Have you sold your soul to the devil for a free Wii and a lifetime supply of Red Bull?

    charl25 Wed, 09/12/2009 - 18:12

  • In a bid to rake in advertising pounds to fund sycophantic television ventures completely at odds with the editorial stance that this site was founded upon HM will now churn any shit to keep his traffic up. This site is a fucking sell-out.

    "Oh, I fucking hate celebrities me, total bastards. What about those cunts hey? Always with their schmoozing and their insincerity... now any chance I can set up a shit video interview with The Saturdays so my fey, mop-headed cunt of a presenter, can prance about being ironic?"

    Bag. of. shite.

    Repugnant Wed, 09/12/2009 - 18:00

  • She's a fucking nobody like 99% of the people HM sucks off on this site. They're 'famous' for knocking about with wankers, and that's about it. Makes you weep for mankind, really.

    aaaargh Wed, 09/12/2009 - 17:44

  • Am I alone in wondering who she actually is? I mean, I know she's pretending to fuck Kanye in a mutually beneficial charade but apart from that, what does she do?

    charl25 Wed, 09/12/2009 - 17:41

  • Fucking hell I knew Man Utd had a defensive crisis but I didn't know Wes Brown was having chemotherapy!

    jiggerycock Wed, 09/12/2009 - 16:24

  • And the lord said; let their be lulz

    whereswaldo Wed, 09/12/2009 - 15:38

  • And the lord said; let their be lulz

    whereswaldo Wed, 09/12/2009 - 15:38

  • Fucking hell I knew Man Utd had a defensive crisis but I didn't know Wes Brown was having chemotherapy!

    jiggerycock Wed, 09/12/2009 - 16:24

  • Am I alone in wondering who she actually is? I mean, I know she's pretending to fuck Kanye in a mutually beneficial charade but apart from that, what does she do?

    charl25 Wed, 09/12/2009 - 17:41

  • She's a fucking nobody like 99% of the people HM sucks off on this site. They're 'famous' for knocking about with wankers, and that's about it. Makes you weep for mankind, really.

    aaaargh Wed, 09/12/2009 - 17:44

  • In a bid to rake in advertising pounds to fund sycophantic television ventures completely at odds with the editorial stance that this site was founded upon HM will now churn any shit to keep his traffic up. This site is a fucking sell-out.

    "Oh, I fucking hate celebrities me, total bastards. What about those cunts hey? Always with their schmoozing and their insincerity... now any chance I can set up a shit video interview with The Saturdays so my fey, mop-headed cunt of a presenter, can prance about being ironic?"

    Bag. of. shite.

    Repugnant Wed, 09/12/2009 - 18:00

  • Yeah, what IS with all the stuff about the Saturdays HM? They're shit, practically unheard of by anyone over 16 and get most of their recognition by showing their gussets and falling out of shit nightclubs. You used to spew bile about people like this or at least ignore them. Is it true? Have you sold your soul to the devil for a free Wii and a lifetime supply of Red Bull?

    charl25 Wed, 09/12/2009 - 18:12

  • Of course he fucking has - every man has his price, and for the Derbyshire man it's a packet of B&H superkings and a crate of blue WKD. I mean, you can't claim all celebs are dull retards with the talent of a spoon and the likeability of arse cancer, but the 99% here are pretty much on that button.

    Welcome to the world of corporate cocksucking

    Blartmonster Wed, 09/12/2009 - 22:55

  • Shut up James you sad fuck. Oh boo hoo, this site isn't the same as it was 7 years ago boo hoo.

    Mr. HM Thu, 10/12/2009 - 09:43

  • touched that horribly exposed raw nerve again.

    ps. "in spades" is not racist in the context i used it, you coward.

    unseemlydogposture Thu, 10/12/2009 - 09:53

  • I was wondering how long it would be before Mr "Oh-shit, what about my banner revenue" Holy Moly removed that.

    And yes, it isn't the same as it was 7 years ago... it's shit and you've shown yourself to be the cunt you've probably always been.

    Repugnant Thu, 10/12/2009 - 10:43

  • Okay, the site isn't the same but why the abuse? If it pisses you off this much, shouldn't you just go elsewhere? Let's face it, HM isn't claiming to be Private Eye is it? It's a gossip site. I think some perspective is needed. After all, if you think you could do better, you're free to go ahead and try.
    I'm not sure I like the site as much as I used to but calling HM a cunt for doing his job is just unneccessary. The problem with the internet is that any twat thinks their voice suddenly matters. And yes, I'm aware of the irony there before one of you Einsteins so cleverly points it out to me.

    charl25 Thu, 10/12/2009 - 11:41

  • Actually I was going to say something along the lines of empty vessels and most noise, but then the irony fucking sent me sprawling

    Blartmonster Thu, 10/12/2009 - 12:29

  • Fuck it I'm off to the Closer \ Heat \ Now magazine website

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Thu, 10/12/2009 - 18:24

  • That Amber wotshername is a right ugly cunt ain't she?

    Blartmonster Thu, 10/12/2009 - 18:47

  • Derbyshire, really? omg, Derby, Notts?
    I'll be too scared to go out soon

    BonnyWill Fri, 11/12/2009 - 07:35

  • Mr. HM says...
    Shut up James you sad fuck. Oh boo hoo, this site isn't the same as it was 7 years ago boo hoo.

    Just to clarify this precedent you've just set for us all.
    We can now use known first names of moles?
    Ty.

    BonnyWill Fri, 11/12/2009 - 07:36

  • I live in Derby, and did see someone wearing a HM t-shirt the other day. Hmmm. It would explain the general bitterness on this 'ere site.

    retrovertigo Fri, 11/12/2009 - 23:35

  • supply brand handbags and wallet
    supply chanel and gucci hermes handag
    http://www.lookhandbag.com

    lsywlw Thu, 04/02/2010 - 04:41

Related Stories

Article Timeline