Water is Wet! Ice is cold! Wanking is fun! Three statements from the school of the bleeding obvious. You want another? M'kay - Whacking a load of racket up your nose along with an insane amount of booze will, probably, make you feel a bit unwell, as Amy Winehouse is now realizing.

Yes, dear old Amy is once again holed up in a hospital undergoing 'tests' (Doctor: Your name? Amy: Amy Winehouse. Doctor: Test complete) after apparently having a blazing row with ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil.

 

Now, I'm no doctor, (Apparently you can't just wear a white coat and take ladies' pulses on the tube - who knew?!) but suggesting Amy Winehouse has had an adverse reaction to drugs is like saying Michelle McManus has an adverse reaction to eating a skipful of butter.

 

Give you a clue love, drugs make you look like a wooden horse in a wig - get yourself sorted.

 

Sources close to HM say that yes, Amy has been in the recording studio trying to replicate the amazingness of 'Back to Black' but due to booze and ting, it has been an absolute shambles - they may as well have just tempted a herd of ducks (herd?) into the studio with a trail of breadcrumbs and then repeatedly hit them with a cricket bat infront of a microphone.

 

For what its worth, i'd pay a tenner to hear that.

 

Anyway, I digress...The row happened because Blake has fucked off with some blonde bird after taking £32000 off Amy to pay for his treatment, which is nice. That would make me pretty fucking angry too.

 

The Sun strangely report her as suffering from seizures due to a massive bender - but as far as I'm aware, Perez Hilton wasn't anywhere near the scene. *sips water*

By Mr. Holy Moly