Amy Winehouse pleads guilty in court after panto assault, dazzles jury

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Amy Winehouse at Milton Keynes Crown Court this morningAmy Winehouse at Milton Keynes Crown Court this morning

Back to court
Wed, 20/01/2010 - 12:50 by Harry Bow

Following a trip to the panto where she called Cinderella's stepsister a bitch and punched the theatre manager, Amy Winehouse pleaded guilty to assault in court this morning.

This Amy Winehouse assault business happened in the midst of our pre-Christmas haze, so we're only really just getting to grips with the story now (Mickey Rourke and Bobby Davro were in panto together and we missed it?!). We think someone mentioned the incident before, but we assumed they were talking about a Viz sketch...

The singer was arrested on 23 December after getting into the swing of the season, heckling 'he's fucking behind you' and calling the ugly sister 'bitches' before pounding the manager who asked her to swap seats at the Milton Keynes theatre.

Having made the most of the surplus supply of fake tan left over whilst Alex Reid is in the CBB house, the 26-year-old singer pleaded guilty to common assault and disorder at Milton Keynes Magistrates' Court before she was given a two year conditional discharge and ordered to pay £85 in costs and £100 in compensation to the rather aptly named Mr Pound, the theatre's front-of-house manager.

District judge Peter Crabtree told her:

"Mr Pound is a person whose job involves interaction with the public.

"If he's assaulted he deserves the court's protection.

"In this case it's obvious that alcohol played its part."

"It may be harder than a fine because you have now got to stay on the straight and narrow for the next two years."

We give her until the end of the week.

Amy Winehouse pictures, Amy Winehouse

Comments

  • That's who I was trying to think off, it nearly got as far as bothering me for a minute.

    dandyboy Wed, 20/01/2010 - 16:37

  • Yes Stella - I WAS her defence barrister but have had to quit being said person having been handed a legal document entitled A.Winehouse vs Punch & Judy

    the flange Wed, 20/01/2010 - 16:25

  • OfficerDrivel is the ghost of Stanley Unwin
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duOhkSwMjKg

    fuckwit Wed, 20/01/2010 - 16:05

  • Bet she still would have fucking got away with it.

    What have cunts like her & Doherty got to do to get banged up ? I honestly think they could dig up the Queen Mother, attach strings to her corpse & use it as the third member of some unholy musical trio and still get off with a community service order & a "don't be so silly again".

    Pair of shitty, disease infested rat-cunts.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:52

  • Ah well that's that sorted then, thanks for the legal clarification Officer.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:49

  • Were you her defence barrister? Would have loved it if this was her side of the story!

    stella ah trois Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:48

  • I am afraid there is nothing to report on the impeccable behaviour of miss Whitehouse as she has not broken any byelaws or rules, as provend by the magistraits court yesterday, Thank you for the brown envelope miss W, by the way, Mr Beak the magistrait said his was 10 pounds short but he'll take it from the other envelope he got from Mr Dochertys solicitor. Move along now.

    Oh, Mr F-word-wit, I have to warn you that for the disgustiung crime of intentional use of biblicalous quotations you are in contravention of the Agressive Employment of Religious Dogma Act of 1887 and liable to imprisionment for up to 10 years, you reprehensivible person

    officerdibble Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:35

  • Is this HM taking the piss and hoping that we wouldnt notice
    ? Mr Pound????? Its Amy Winehouse pissed as fuck - of course she is going to take him literally..........

    the flange Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:31

  • I miss m'learned friend Golfdriver, and all his stupid comments

    fuckwit Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:27

  • Agreed, this is surely the perfect story for Officer Dibble to comment on. His years of experience on the force dealing with criminal such as Miss Shitehouse will be invaluable in providing an insight into this case.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:15

  • "it may be harder than a fine". i doubt it, you flacid, useless cock.

    unseemlydogposture Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:57

  • Oh Dear. Come back Officer Dibble, all is forgiven.

    slug Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:33

  • Learn your scripture. Matthew 7 vs 14. "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."
    Amen

    fuckwit Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:24

  • I've always wondered, if being good is being "on the straight and narrow", then is being bad being "on the wide and wobbly"? I asked my dad that when I was about 10 and have never received an answer.

    tescopop Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:11

  • I've always wondered, if being good is being "on the straight and narrow", then is being bad being "on the wide and wobbly"? I asked my dad that when I was about 10 and have never received an answer.

    tescopop Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:11

  • Learn your scripture. Matthew 7 vs 14. "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."
    Amen

    fuckwit Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:24

  • Oh Dear. Come back Officer Dibble, all is forgiven.

    slug Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:33

  • "it may be harder than a fine". i doubt it, you flacid, useless cock.

    unseemlydogposture Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:57

  • Agreed, this is surely the perfect story for Officer Dibble to comment on. His years of experience on the force dealing with criminal such as Miss Shitehouse will be invaluable in providing an insight into this case.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:15

  • I miss m'learned friend Golfdriver, and all his stupid comments

    fuckwit Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:27

  • Is this HM taking the piss and hoping that we wouldnt notice
    ? Mr Pound????? Its Amy Winehouse pissed as fuck - of course she is going to take him literally..........

    the flange Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:31

  • I am afraid there is nothing to report on the impeccable behaviour of miss Whitehouse as she has not broken any byelaws or rules, as provend by the magistraits court yesterday, Thank you for the brown envelope miss W, by the way, Mr Beak the magistrait said his was 10 pounds short but he'll take it from the other envelope he got from Mr Dochertys solicitor. Move along now.

    Oh, Mr F-word-wit, I have to warn you that for the disgustiung crime of intentional use of biblicalous quotations you are in contravention of the Agressive Employment of Religious Dogma Act of 1887 and liable to imprisionment for up to 10 years, you reprehensivible person

    officerdibble Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:35

  • Were you her defence barrister? Would have loved it if this was her side of the story!

    stella ah trois Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:48

  • Ah well that's that sorted then, thanks for the legal clarification Officer.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:49

  • Bet she still would have fucking got away with it.

    What have cunts like her & Doherty got to do to get banged up ? I honestly think they could dig up the Queen Mother, attach strings to her corpse & use it as the third member of some unholy musical trio and still get off with a community service order & a "don't be so silly again".

    Pair of shitty, disease infested rat-cunts.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:52

  • OfficerDrivel is the ghost of Stanley Unwin
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duOhkSwMjKg

    fuckwit Wed, 20/01/2010 - 16:05

  • Yes Stella - I WAS her defence barrister but have had to quit being said person having been handed a legal document entitled A.Winehouse vs Punch & Judy

    the flange Wed, 20/01/2010 - 16:25

  • That's who I was trying to think off, it nearly got as far as bothering me for a minute.

    dandyboy Wed, 20/01/2010 - 16:37

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