Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and George Clooney hit UNICEF, look happy

George Clooney at the UNICEF ball in Beverley Hills

How the other half live

Fri, 11/12/2009 - 16:04 by Mr. HM

As you sit staring at the wrapper of your Pret sandwich and wonder what that "DR" means after those numbers on your bank statement, rest assured that Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Angelina Jolie and Bruce Willis feel your pain - they really do.

I can't be too mean because it's for charity and all that, but this is like a real life scene from Oceans Eleven and i hate them all to the very core for being richer, better looking, drunker and more tanned than I have and ever will be. George Clooney could smear his chest in Joseph Jackson's duck butter and he'd still have a four mile queue of women wanting to lick it off.

But are they all really happy? You know, deep down in their souls?

Of course they are you twat.

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon

Comments

These people aren't happy. They're under pressure to look good all the time and end up living on beans and nuts. They can't even fart without it ending up on Twitter. A lot of them are studying Tiger Woods and wondering if the fame and money are worth it. When I go to a party I go to party and I don't want a camera zooming up my arse. These people? They don't have a choice. If they don't do the charidee, they're condemned. If they do do it, they know that a photo of them looking shit may end up online. Who needs it?
PuddyTwat Tue, 15/12/2009 - 02:36
If it weren't for your vile ideas, hideous utterances and lack of respect for anyone other than yourself (misplaced I would add), I could quite fall for you. *Swoons
stella ah trois Sun, 13/12/2009 - 21:14
Just because you're 6ft3, 18 stone, myopic, a six-baby minced flange and got spaniel's ears tits around your gargantuan rugby player's legs, don't diss Mrs Clooney senior. Jealousy is soooooo unbecoming
Blartmonster Sun, 13/12/2009 - 20:50
'fucking looker'. Like she's got eyes? Wow. Anyone who refers to a person as a fucking looker should head off down the kebab shop (Kerry's maybe) to mingle and meet with people with the intention of forming a relationship that will see a good match in terms of class, dignity, STDs, etc.

Fucking looker!
stella ah trois Sat, 12/12/2009 - 18:45
I quite fancy his mum, she is a fucking looker
Blartmonster Fri, 11/12/2009 - 22:18
BAM!
Mr. HM Fri, 11/12/2009 - 21:33
His bird is fit
whereswaldo Fri, 11/12/2009 - 17:17
*spits out coffee*

You can see it coming a mile off, but still funny . . . .
Stramash Fri, 11/12/2009 - 16:52
Christ, Clooney is STILL sporting that beard. And the facial hair doesn't suit him either.
merylhighground Fri, 11/12/2009 - 16:32

Christ, Clooney is STILL sporting that beard. And the facial hair doesn't suit him either.
merylhighground Fri, 11/12/2009 - 16:32
*spits out coffee*

You can see it coming a mile off, but still funny . . . .
Stramash Fri, 11/12/2009 - 16:52
His bird is fit
whereswaldo Fri, 11/12/2009 - 17:17
BAM!
Mr. HM Fri, 11/12/2009 - 21:33
I quite fancy his mum, she is a fucking looker
Blartmonster Fri, 11/12/2009 - 22:18
'fucking looker'. Like she's got eyes? Wow. Anyone who refers to a person as a fucking looker should head off down the kebab shop (Kerry's maybe) to mingle and meet with people with the intention of forming a relationship that will see a good match in terms of class, dignity, STDs, etc.

Fucking looker!
stella ah trois Sat, 12/12/2009 - 18:45
Just because you're 6ft3, 18 stone, myopic, a six-baby minced flange and got spaniel's ears tits around your gargantuan rugby player's legs, don't diss Mrs Clooney senior. Jealousy is soooooo unbecoming
Blartmonster Sun, 13/12/2009 - 20:50
If it weren't for your vile ideas, hideous utterances and lack of respect for anyone other than yourself (misplaced I would add), I could quite fall for you. *Swoons
stella ah trois Sun, 13/12/2009 - 21:14
These people aren't happy. They're under pressure to look good all the time and end up living on beans and nuts. They can't even fart without it ending up on Twitter. A lot of them are studying Tiger Woods and wondering if the fame and money are worth it. When I go to a party I go to party and I don't want a camera zooming up my arse. These people? They don't have a choice. If they don't do the charidee, they're condemned. If they do do it, they know that a photo of them looking shit may end up online. Who needs it?
PuddyTwat Tue, 15/12/2009 - 02:36