Anyone who's got a Blackberry or Android phone might as well just look away now. All the jargon we're going to be using like 'app', 'facetime', 'angry birds' and 'massively overpriced toy' only really applies to everyone's favourite gadget, the iPhone. Admittedly you can get these so called 'apps' on an Android phone, but it's a bit like watching a model eating a cheeseburger, it might seem ok now, but you know sooner or later it's coming out again.

Anyway, here we've got all the pics (well, six) from the star-studded Carphone Warehouse Appy Awards, the awards for mobile telephone applications, starring Richard Hammond, Jodie Kidd, Dom Joly, Reggie Yates and Peaches Geldof. Incidentally, I watched her programme for the first time the other day. Holy cocksucking Christ. At least the people we pick on are good looking and wealthy. Mostly.

Anyway, we could go into detail about who won what and all that, but we're pretty sure if you even gave one single forlorn hoot about any of that stuff you'd be over on Engadget shouting about corrupted ports and browsing futanari. Incidentally, do not look up futanari if you're at work, seriously. Or even at home for that matter. Thanks very much internet, another reason to get Alzheimer's.