Haaaa haaaaaa haaa. Kate Bush???? Heee heeeeeeee.

angry kid, she married a footballer and shes in girls a-fuckin-loud, she deserves everything!!! and of course she was shit at the Brits, did you think her love life teetering on the edge of disaster would suddenly turn her into kate bush?

Cole - what a cock. No really. The man has it all...apart from the maturity to understand that point, I guess. Move on Cheryl, you don't deserve to be treated like that.

You want to see gay, just watch Cheryl and Kimberly Walsh. That's why Ashley has to get off with other people because his wife is too busy doing her band mate.

LOLOL!

Just watched the Brits and Cole was absolute shite. It was embarrassing.

He's gayer than Mr Gay from Gay Street, Gaysville, who wandered onto the Graham Norton show and tried to have gang band with Rupert Everett, Elton John and Christopher Biggins.

Well it was definitely worth looking for. And the spelling's spot on, keep up the good work!

He's gay and she's a lezzer - or she's not too keen on getting it on with old Ashley. Nothing else makes sense in this ridiculous "relationship".

Nah, I don't think so. I find it odd that the media are trying to de-rail our world cup bid, or could it be they don't want Chelsea to win the league? I'm from Manchester so hope it's the latter not that we need help, but it all seems odd.

i think you sum it up beautifully!

Ashley Cole really doesn't help himself when it comes to counteracting those gay rumours, does he?

Despite all these flings behind "wor" Chezza's back, he knows and we know that he is unquestionably the gayest of the gay...

i'll buy it.

The only way he could look any gayer is by wearing a tutu and ballet shoes to go with that polo neck.
He may earn £100k a week, but money cant stop you looking like a complete cunt.

I realise that it's almost physically impossible to draw your eye away from that lovely pink number, but anyone think Cheryl has a bit of the Katona's about her in that first photo?

this article is missing a word... who the fuck proof reads this shite

yes i've heard that too.

This boy is one huge big gay. And I don't need a mate in PR to tell me that. Look at that polo neck.

my mate who says he knows a few things, claims its all a big cover up. the media and the celeb's PR swap a real story for a cover story to disguise the real truth - that he is a gay boy. so there you have, straight from my mate. who knows a few things.

Ashley's carry-on reminds me of the Eddie Murphy joke:

"OK baby. You caught me. Yes! I fucked her. But I make lurrrrve to you!"

You can't argue with that.

And Cheryl, who made out she was this strong northern bird, is losing what little respect she clawed back after busting a cap in that toilet cleaner's ass.

Poor sow. It's obvious her husband hates her.

All building up to a good finale in next week's NOTW....

I know I searched high and low for that picture, Ally. It's my favoruite. How's my spelling? x

That polo neck is one of the greatest things I have seen in all my life.

Really, there's nowt more to say is there? Footballers like having sex with people they're not married to. If you marry one you're a fucking moron, unless you're not bothered about them cheating, then you're a robot. A very rich robot.
I always wondered about Cheryl. She publicly admitted she only fancies mixed race men (What's that about? It's like teensy old men who only fancy six foot blondes) but she also, it seems, likes beating up black women. There's a touch of the old-school slave master about her.
It's all a bit sinister.

nevermind copying and pasting huge chunks of text from entertainment.ie...

where can i get me a body-hugging pink cardigan from? I MUST KNOW.