Big Scrubber
Mon, 08/02/2010 - 10:27 by HM writer

The News of the World brought us yet more 'shocking' news about disgraced footballer John Terry, after reporting that the 29-year-old slept with Big Brother 6 contestant Orlaith McAllister (the blonde, Irish one who got her tits felt in the hot tub by eventual winner Anthony and also snogged Makosi, who thought she was pregnant after her fumble with Antony that very same night)...

Terry, who was stripped of his captaincy on Friday after a 12 minute meeting with Fabio Capello, met Orlaith at a Chelsea Squad Christmas party five years ago, while his wife Toni was expecting twins.

A source said:

"Terry was trying to be a bit discreet but he couldn't stop staring at her."

Apparently Terry, who allegedly paid off former lover Vanessa Perroncel with £750,000, reportedly picked up the £30,000 tab that evening after winning £200,000 at a casino earlier that day.

A 'friend' of Orlaith added:

"She had a great night with Terry. She had spoken at the time about how much she loved sex. He wasn't disappointed.

"Orlaith has an amazing figure - all of the Big Brother viewers saw that. Terry had it all to himself."

Hmm, we wonder who will crawl out of the woodwork next...

  • She looks like a skull with skin

    mynicehat Tue, 09/02/2010 - 13:26
  • She should get a Kwik Fit fitter to re-align the nips on those fucking dreadful fake tits. They look like Marty Feldman's eyes.

    merylhighground Tue, 09/02/2010 - 11:08
  • I'm surprised whatserface with the egg for a head hasn't come out of the woodwork yet, it can only be a matter of time... and Michelle Heaton and Slapper Gascoigne.

    dandyboy Mon, 08/02/2010 - 21:30
  • Amazing isn't it? The slurry of shit that floats to the surface whenever a publicity magnet of a story like this comes out is incredible. JT, twat extraordinaire, Orlisp O'Shaggemall, slag extraordinaire.

    koshmar Mon, 08/02/2010 - 20:40
  • Who gives a crap. JT is a serial shagger. So what?? What footballer isn't???

    LondonGoddess Mon, 08/02/2010 - 19:56
  • ...and as for the caption 'Orlaith does casual' surely you've forgotten to add the word 'sex' onto the end of that.

    slug Mon, 08/02/2010 - 14:57
  • Nice boobs ? come on you've got to at least give her (or more aptly her plastic surgeon) credit for that.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 08/02/2010 - 14:10
  • Pic 11: tit-job-scar. SEXY.

    tescopop Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:48
  • I'm hoping HM is highly sarcastic when he says "Orlaigh looking fit" on picture 3. She looks like Vanessa Feltz, for god sake!
    Hideous, tarty, just boringly ordinary... you've got to be John Terry or some thicko of the sort to find anything appetising about this bird.

    kermits Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:45
  • A man can dream can't he ????

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:38
  • Hardly a subtle opening gambit to a pissed-up footballer, but then it seems like Terry's got all the silver-tongued eloquence of Jack Tweed of 'U WANT RUMP?' fame!

    erniemilko Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:36
  • Don't be daft - do you honestly think natural perfection would nestle happily beneath a face like that??

    erniemilko Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:22
  • Any footballer who get's married young is a fool. The profession is a license to get as much poon-tang as you can lay your hands on for no effort whatsoever.....why would you want to fuck that up by getting shacked up with some bird at the ripe old age of 25 ???

    On another topic this Orlaith woman has a cracking set of tits on her, don't suppose there's any chance they are real ?

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:08
  • "She had spoken at the time about how much she loved sex."

    I don't know why, but this makes me laugh.

    tescopop Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:06
  • Now you know all this, it makes sense that he looks so tired in pic 2.

    stella ah trois Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:39
  • who the fuck is that.

    love the new graphics, hm. i'll definitely subscribe to sky now.

    unseemlydogposture Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:23
  • Classy!! Just another talentless bimbo looking for a payday. Mind you that doesn't excuse him for going grubbing while his mrs was expecting his kids...the colossal cunt.

    erniemilko Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:14
  • I was going to get some t-shirts made saying 'I haven't shagged John Terry', but it appears that there aren't enough people who qualify to justify the minimum print run of 25.

    slug Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:14
  • The Venn diagram of 'People who have shagged John Terry' and 'People who have shagged Orlaith', whilst not intersecting, pretty much covers 90% of mankind doesn't it?

    I'm prepared to admit there might be Japanese soldiers holed up in Borneo, still proclaiming undying love for Emperor Hirohito, that Orlaith hasn't got round to. Terry probably hasn't bumped uglies with Victoria Beckham, because he still has a Quality Control molecule of DNA left and when she turns sideways he probably can't see her, but other than that?

    jiggerycock Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:10
  • Now all you need to do is sort out the fact that the fucking advert thta is making my eyes bleed for hell itself blows your template apart each time a comment is posted.

    stella ah trois Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:09
  • Well done - you got there in the end.

    stella ah trois Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:07
  • Well done - you got there in the end.

    stella ah trois Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:07
  • Now all you need to do is sort out the fact that the fucking advert thta is making my eyes bleed for hell itself blows your template apart each time a comment is posted.

    stella ah trois Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:09
  • The Venn diagram of 'People who have shagged John Terry' and 'People who have shagged Orlaith', whilst not intersecting, pretty much covers 90% of mankind doesn't it?

    I'm prepared to admit there might be Japanese soldiers holed up in Borneo, still proclaiming undying love for Emperor Hirohito, that Orlaith hasn't got round to. Terry probably hasn't bumped uglies with Victoria Beckham, because he still has a Quality Control molecule of DNA left and when she turns sideways he probably can't see her, but other than that?

    jiggerycock Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:10
  • I was going to get some t-shirts made saying 'I haven't shagged John Terry', but it appears that there aren't enough people who qualify to justify the minimum print run of 25.

    slug Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:14
  • Classy!! Just another talentless bimbo looking for a payday. Mind you that doesn't excuse him for going grubbing while his mrs was expecting his kids...the colossal cunt.

    erniemilko Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:14
  • who the fuck is that.

    love the new graphics, hm. i'll definitely subscribe to sky now.

    unseemlydogposture Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:23
  • Now you know all this, it makes sense that he looks so tired in pic 2.

    stella ah trois Mon, 08/02/2010 - 11:39
  • "She had spoken at the time about how much she loved sex."

    I don't know why, but this makes me laugh.

    tescopop Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:06
  • Any footballer who get's married young is a fool. The profession is a license to get as much poon-tang as you can lay your hands on for no effort whatsoever.....why would you want to fuck that up by getting shacked up with some bird at the ripe old age of 25 ???

    On another topic this Orlaith woman has a cracking set of tits on her, don't suppose there's any chance they are real ?

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:08
  • Don't be daft - do you honestly think natural perfection would nestle happily beneath a face like that??

    erniemilko Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:22
  • Hardly a subtle opening gambit to a pissed-up footballer, but then it seems like Terry's got all the silver-tongued eloquence of Jack Tweed of 'U WANT RUMP?' fame!

    erniemilko Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:36
  • A man can dream can't he ????

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:38
  • I'm hoping HM is highly sarcastic when he says "Orlaigh looking fit" on picture 3. She looks like Vanessa Feltz, for god sake!
    Hideous, tarty, just boringly ordinary... you've got to be John Terry or some thicko of the sort to find anything appetising about this bird.

    kermits Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:45
  • Pic 11: tit-job-scar. SEXY.

    tescopop Mon, 08/02/2010 - 13:48
  • Nice boobs ? come on you've got to at least give her (or more aptly her plastic surgeon) credit for that.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Mon, 08/02/2010 - 14:10
  • ...and as for the caption 'Orlaith does casual' surely you've forgotten to add the word 'sex' onto the end of that.

    slug Mon, 08/02/2010 - 14:57
  • Who gives a crap. JT is a serial shagger. So what?? What footballer isn't???

    LondonGoddess Mon, 08/02/2010 - 19:56
  • Amazing isn't it? The slurry of shit that floats to the surface whenever a publicity magnet of a story like this comes out is incredible. JT, twat extraordinaire, Orlisp O'Shaggemall, slag extraordinaire.

    koshmar Mon, 08/02/2010 - 20:40
  • I'm surprised whatserface with the egg for a head hasn't come out of the woodwork yet, it can only be a matter of time... and Michelle Heaton and Slapper Gascoigne.

    dandyboy Mon, 08/02/2010 - 21:30
  • She should get a Kwik Fit fitter to re-align the nips on those fucking dreadful fake tits. They look like Marty Feldman's eyes.

    merylhighground Tue, 09/02/2010 - 11:08
  • She looks like a skull with skin

    mynicehat Tue, 09/02/2010 - 13:26

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