Cannes film festival 2010: Mischa, Benicio and Lagerfield get hit by the fugly stick

Mischa Barton at the Cannes Film Festival

Cannes you stop now please?

Fri, 21/05/2010 - 11:29 by Mr. HM

The Cannes Film Festival seems like it's been going on for aboug 13 weeks already, mainly because the only interesting thing to happen out there is Lindsay Lohan getting a golden ticket to jail, but the celebs are still there - trundling along to every red carpet going.

The problem is that no-one ever writes about the films they are there to see because each event seamlessly merges into the next - the only thing that changes are the dresses. The awards look about as interesting as Leonardo Di Caprio's twitter page.

Thank christ for dreafully dressed celebrities then.

Here we have Mischa Barton looking like a monkey coloured her eyes in with a finger smeared in birdshit.

We also have photographic evidence that Benicio Del Toro has had his neck stolen and that Karl Lagerfield has finally unveiled his gay robot army which will shortly be waging a war on Matalan so fierce that nails may get broken.

Oh, and Grace Jones shows Lady Gaga a thing or two about wearing a lace mask...

Cannes Film Festival, Fashion Disaster, Mischa Barton pictures, Benicio Del Toro, Jennifer Lopez, Karl Lagerfeld, Mischa Barton, Paris Hilton

Comments

Benny Bull will always be a fucking god for making the definitive Guevara movie, fucking off 99% of Hollywood in the process.

Hasta la Vitoria Siempre!!
koshmar Sat, 22/05/2010 - 14:21
I think the robot guy on the right is hot not the uber gay one, the other one! Allot of these people that turn up are not in movies they are in fashion or fashionistas that is all. Allot of them are quite scary looking and crazy!
dancingworm Fri, 21/05/2010 - 23:26
Oh I don't know Tesco, I could think of all sorts of uses for Bernicio and his magnum. His eyes are looking weirder by the day though.
huxylady Fri, 21/05/2010 - 23:04
I take it the chap on the right is the fistee not the fister? That's an awful lot of metal even for Karl to take on board...
huxylady Fri, 21/05/2010 - 22:38
arse.
The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 21/05/2010 - 12:16
You've started boozing early Rev. Suitable Airspace for Prissy Celebrity enemas?

Agree about toro, he must have been off his tits when he signed up for that.
topguntop Fri, 21/05/2010 - 12:00
Benicio Del Torro? Fuck that shit! It's Gladstone Small after the vitiligo.

I once took Grace Jones and her then boyfriend Dolph Lundgren through a workout at the hotel they were staying - no that's not a euphemism, it was an actual exercise programme. She could bench press more percentage of her bodyweight than he could and this was him around 'Rocky IV' time.
jiggerycock Fri, 21/05/2010 - 11:59
I bumped into Grace Jones in SAPCE in Ibiza a couple of years ago....bleieve me she is not a woman you want to meet when off your tits, I was fucking terrified.
The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 21/05/2010 - 11:51
Mr HM. I love robots, so I got excited when you said gay robot army. But those gays don't even look like robots. They just look like gays.

Del Toro is dead to me since that fucking ice cream advert. DEAD TO ME, Benicio, d'ya hear me? DEAD. TO. ME.

Grace Jones is fierce. Not the stupid annoying kill-yourself fierce that Tyra Banks says. Actually fierce, fearsome, like a fucking angry tiger or something. I love her, but would not want to bump into her in a dark alley.
tescopop Fri, 21/05/2010 - 11:45

Mr HM. I love robots, so I got excited when you said gay robot army. But those gays don't even look like robots. They just look like gays.

Del Toro is dead to me since that fucking ice cream advert. DEAD TO ME, Benicio, d'ya hear me? DEAD. TO. ME.

Grace Jones is fierce. Not the stupid annoying kill-yourself fierce that Tyra Banks says. Actually fierce, fearsome, like a fucking angry tiger or something. I love her, but would not want to bump into her in a dark alley.
tescopop Fri, 21/05/2010 - 11:45
I bumped into Grace Jones in SAPCE in Ibiza a couple of years ago....bleieve me she is not a woman you want to meet when off your tits, I was fucking terrified.
The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 21/05/2010 - 11:51
Benicio Del Torro? Fuck that shit! It's Gladstone Small after the vitiligo.

I once took Grace Jones and her then boyfriend Dolph Lundgren through a workout at the hotel they were staying - no that's not a euphemism, it was an actual exercise programme. She could bench press more percentage of her bodyweight than he could and this was him around 'Rocky IV' time.
jiggerycock Fri, 21/05/2010 - 11:59
You've started boozing early Rev. Suitable Airspace for Prissy Celebrity enemas?

Agree about toro, he must have been off his tits when he signed up for that.
topguntop Fri, 21/05/2010 - 12:00
arse.
The Rev Jesse Custer Fri, 21/05/2010 - 12:16
I take it the chap on the right is the fistee not the fister? That's an awful lot of metal even for Karl to take on board...
huxylady Fri, 21/05/2010 - 22:38
Oh I don't know Tesco, I could think of all sorts of uses for Bernicio and his magnum. His eyes are looking weirder by the day though.
huxylady Fri, 21/05/2010 - 23:04
I think the robot guy on the right is hot not the uber gay one, the other one! Allot of these people that turn up are not in movies they are in fashion or fashionistas that is all. Allot of them are quite scary looking and crazy!
dancingworm Fri, 21/05/2010 - 23:26
Benny Bull will always be a fucking god for making the definitive Guevara movie, fucking off 99% of Hollywood in the process.

Hasta la Vitoria Siempre!!
koshmar Sat, 22/05/2010 - 14:21