But alas, no. Apart from the topless fire-eaters with their torsos and tits painted black and gold it, was a fairly average evening of civility and non-offensive guests.

Those who attended included Chelsy Davy, Natalie Imbruglia wearing Jack Duckworth's glasses, Noel Gallagher and girlfriend Sara McDonald, Princess Beatrice and Jenni Falconerzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Perhaps the postal strike is to blame for invites not reaching the likes of Calum Best, Bianca Gascoigne, Danielle Lloyd and Michelle Heaton...