With our high-density coverage of all those high falutin' awards this morning you'd be forgiven for thinking that we might be getting a little bit above ourselves, forgetting our roots and all that jazz. Well don't worry, just as we started our sixth swan and Krug chaser of the morning, the Jack Tweed news klaxon fired up, and we all know what that means. It means there's a woman crying somewhere and Jack's involved. 

But who was crying today? A supermarket cashier? Maybe a hairdresser? What about an eastern european sex-worker? No, no, no. It was of course a Big Brother contestant, Tweedy kryptonite.

Chanelle Jade (yes, seriously) Hayes; mother, daughter, glamour model, Big Brother contestant, writer, fashion designer and most importantly, former lover of Jack Tweed has hit Twitter, and hit it hard, after a set of shocking pictures hit the internet last week of her ex-boyfriend Jack Tweed, but wait for it, HE WAS WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. 

Some of you out there might think their twelve week relationship was pretty brief, and the fact it happened over four months ago should mean Chanelle Jade would be over it. The reason you think that is because you have no heart, unlike Chanelle, who's just a gentle, spiritual soul, making intense connections with whomever she meets, spreading her love like a Californian wildfire in the dry season after a drought. A bad drought. 

Anyway, here's her tweets. We'll let you judge for yourself whether she's a) An attention seeking ratbag, b) An attention seeking hypocritical ratbag or c) A free-loving force for peace and tranquility:

Since when has Daisy watts been cousins with Jack tweed? So funny they leave alto holding hands and he STILL lies his arse off!! Woww!!

Oh I love u chan, I wanna marry u chan, I wanna be blakelys daddy chan. I've officially had enough of u Jack. Do one!

Stop calling me, stop texting me, stop lying to my face!! I'm done with u, ur lies, and ur obvious inability to keep ur penis in ur pants.

 

I have my baby and my life is full of love. Yours is full of sl*gs, alcohol, fights and trouble...u must be so proud.

I have finally realised I am far too good for u. :-)

 

And if u even try to come visit me on my birthday like u keep saying ur going to then I'll have u arrested for harrassment and trespassing.

 

Byeeeee loserrrrrrrrrr

So what have we learned? Jack's life is full of slags, booze and sex, he's going to be arrested for turning up to a birthday party and his cousin might be Daisy Watts. Oh and his trousers keep coming undone accidentally.

Poor Jack, he's just one of life's victims.