The starled-egg-in-a-wig headed down to Tooting Bec lido (possibly) to pose completely naked apart from the obligatory pair of high heels, some sunglasses and a lilo (pic 5)... It was a brand new concept for the world of glamour modeling.
Chanelle recently overdosed on red wine and paracetamol after an argument with her then footballer boyfriend Matt Baker but she's clearly recovered and is back on the market boys!
And she can be all yours for an entire year for just £1.50 £7.99. Surely taking her out on a date would be cheaper than that...
WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Chanelle gives birth, Jack Tweed pops over for a shag
Jack Tweed turns 23, takes a trip to Jade's grave and ends night with blonde girl
Chanelle Hayes poses naked, won't sleep with Jack Tweed until she's given birth
Chanelle Hayes still pregnant, despite lack of bump
Jack Tweed still on trial for rape, goes to pub with friends
COMMENTS (18)
I can honestly say that I'd prefer to see Bella Emberg naked.
today i received a record by Ida Engberg and it made me thing of Belle Emberg.
I'll just be quiet now......
Surprised the photographer was able to resist the urge to crack her on the forehead with a spoon.
I'm having that for next time...
Oh god, the horror, the horror.......how much airbrushing went into those for f*ck's sake.
They covered up the little lion tattoo quite well.
It's scary that the 'glamour' calendar market is big enough for a publishing company to justify producing one for this complete nobody.
I predict sales will go through the roof come March 2010, when the calendar is half price, and men have got bored with wanking over their Gemma Atkinson / Girls Aloud / Lucy Pinder / Anne Robinson 2010 calendars.
Never underestimate the number of wankers in this world
Not true Jiggers. There seems to be a shortage at the moment. That's why I'm doing the wanking of twenty people.
She is a truly awful fucking nobody - what in fuck's name is she doing anywhere? She'd be lucky to be working on the tills in Aldi's.....
Those red shoes!
ick
Nasty, air-brushed spawn of a whore (quite literally in her case). Fuck off back to planet nonentity, from whence you should never have left.
A typical needy cunt who pretended at suicide - next time, love, half a litre of bleach, 24 paracetamol, a bottle of wine and razorblades DOWN the veins, not across. That should do it rather nicely... Katie Price take note too....
Blarty how do you fancy setting up a support line with me specifically aimed at these vapid cunts, that way any time one of them decides they're "gonna fahkin' end it all innit" we could be there with useful hints & tips on how to get the job done right. People who would have benefited recently include
* Chanelle (obviously)
* Jack Tweed
* Katie Price
Need I say more ??
In 2009, how fucking spastic must one man be to buy the calendar of some pointless, moronic jizz-mop of a whore to shoot their useless cock-fat over?
If the sight of some gormless cunt, lay flat on some wooden flooring, covering up tits and (oft-used) pricken-slot (lay in the same position I imagine she lay in as she faked the debilitating effects of 7 paracetamol and a glass of lambrini), then may I suggest you stand still, bend forward, and then run as fast as you can into the the edge where two walls meet....
Not being a big brother victim, er.. I mean watcher, I have no idea who she is but I do have to wonder how one women can have so much forehead. She needs to have her hair brought forward about 3 inches. Fit body though.
You could land a small aircraft on that forehead!
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