Chanelle Hayes pregnant, world (and boyfriend) stunned

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Chanelle Hayes pregnant Chanelle Hayes pregnant

Baby Bother
Wed, 20/01/2010 - 10:25 by HM writer

Lord have mercy on us all (and if you're still feeling depressed two days after the bluest Monday of the year - look away now) for Big Brother's single-brain-celled-startled-egg-in-a-wig Chanelle Hayes has announced that she's expecting her first child with footballer Matthew Bates... (You can get all the news on Chanelle Hayes' pregnancy here.)

Last year it was reported that Chanelle had attempted suicide by necking a few glasses of white wine to wash back a pack of feminax after an argument with footballer boyfriend Bates.

She had told The Daily Star :

"I thought: ‘I can’t make Matt happy, I can’t make anyone happy, I can’t do anything right, I can’t even make my stupid self happy, so it’d be much easier for everyone if I’m not here.'"

But the 23-year-old Middlesborough midfielder retorted:

"I know a lot of what she has been talking about is complete bullshit. I can't believe she wants to make such a public issue of this. I'm keeping out of it all. Just remember there are two sides to every story, whatever bullshit she comes out with and I'm keeping my side of the story private."

Whic was probably the very same reaction he had when he found out she was up the duff...

Chanelle had lamented:

"I can't stop loving him - I thought we would get married and have kids. But by talking about what's happened I've drawn a line under it."

Or... Finally fulfill the masterful plan that she had created for Bates since she first clapped eyes on him (our money on safety pins through the condoms).

Chanelle A source said:

"The dark days are behind now and Chanelle is absolutely thrilled. Matthew's over the moon too."

Could have been worse, it could have been Calum Best's... Congratualtions!

Big Brother, Chanelle Hayes pictures, Chanelle Hayes pregnant, Pregnant Celebrities, Chanelle Hayes

Comments

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    xiaoblue Wed, 09/06/2010 - 06:13

  • I think you could probably get away with just reading her a Cat in The Hat book

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Thu, 21/01/2010 - 10:35

  • Wasn't she a "Posh" look (nothing at all) alike? Even with her legion faults, she's still better looking than that abomination.

    walsingham Wed, 20/01/2010 - 20:18

  • She really pulls that retard-having-an-orgasm-whilst-doing-a-shit face well. Must be all that practice

    missmonana Wed, 20/01/2010 - 19:43

  • I still would though. As long as she you din;t have to talk to her after

    Petesin Wed, 20/01/2010 - 18:04

  • I should allso like to add that Master Bates is in contravention of the Footballer Impersonating (Prima Donna) Act of 2005 by which he claims to be a "midfielder" whilst playing for Middelsborough. £30,000 fine and confiscation of ostentatioius tasteless motor vehicule

    officerdibble Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:00

  • Well after the past few weeks of anarchic comments and discussions which could be considered subversive it's reassuring to know that HM has it's own appointed monitor of law & order to uphold moral standards.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:41

  • I love love love Officer Dirbble !!!xx

    the flange Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:35

  • Even more unfortunately there are a lot of young girls who regard her progress as a 'career' and something to be aspired to. Staggering that someone who looks and sounds like they would be outwitted by a particularly dim goldfish can apparently make a decent amount of money like this - although it's probably the press and PR people who make more money out of it, and then will drop her like a shot once OK and Heat magazine stop buying photos.
    What price 'live and exclusive' coverage of the birth in some tawdry rag? I can't wait.......

    slug Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:26

  • Too right.

    Unfortunately :-

    Even dumber fuck + wannabe footballer \ pop-star \ reality tv star = This nations future

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:17

  • Miss Hayes is breaking the law on the Food Hygiene Act of 1988 by not having the correct Lion and date stamp across her head, a fine of £4500 and all produce to be destroyed, especialy the one festering in her grumbler.

    She is allso contravening the Care in the Community (Gormless Munter) Act of 1993 by not having her carer with her at all times to prevent her falling over, breaking her wax crayons and spilling orange juice from her special feeder mug, Three weeks pocket money and bedtime by 6 pm for the next month

    officerdibble Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:13

  • dumb fuck+ footballer = disaster

    elbow Wed, 20/01/2010 - 12:48

  • people like this shouldn't be allowed to breed

    grange Wed, 20/01/2010 - 11:49

  • So, which did cum first? The Chicken or The Egg?

    jiggerycock Wed, 20/01/2010 - 11:10

  • Maybe she can sell it to Madonna if she changes her mind.

    It's not like Asos, Chanelle, you can't just put it in a jiffy bag and send it back if you don't like it.

    tescopop Wed, 20/01/2010 - 11:09

  • this cannot be.

    unseemlydogposture Wed, 20/01/2010 - 10:49

  • this cannot be.

    unseemlydogposture Wed, 20/01/2010 - 10:49

  • Maybe she can sell it to Madonna if she changes her mind.

    It's not like Asos, Chanelle, you can't just put it in a jiffy bag and send it back if you don't like it.

    tescopop Wed, 20/01/2010 - 11:09

  • So, which did cum first? The Chicken or The Egg?

    jiggerycock Wed, 20/01/2010 - 11:10

  • people like this shouldn't be allowed to breed

    grange Wed, 20/01/2010 - 11:49

  • dumb fuck+ footballer = disaster

    elbow Wed, 20/01/2010 - 12:48

  • Miss Hayes is breaking the law on the Food Hygiene Act of 1988 by not having the correct Lion and date stamp across her head, a fine of £4500 and all produce to be destroyed, especialy the one festering in her grumbler.

    She is allso contravening the Care in the Community (Gormless Munter) Act of 1993 by not having her carer with her at all times to prevent her falling over, breaking her wax crayons and spilling orange juice from her special feeder mug, Three weeks pocket money and bedtime by 6 pm for the next month

    officerdibble Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:13

  • Too right.

    Unfortunately :-

    Even dumber fuck + wannabe footballer \ pop-star \ reality tv star = This nations future

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:17

  • Even more unfortunately there are a lot of young girls who regard her progress as a 'career' and something to be aspired to. Staggering that someone who looks and sounds like they would be outwitted by a particularly dim goldfish can apparently make a decent amount of money like this - although it's probably the press and PR people who make more money out of it, and then will drop her like a shot once OK and Heat magazine stop buying photos.
    What price 'live and exclusive' coverage of the birth in some tawdry rag? I can't wait.......

    slug Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:26

  • I love love love Officer Dirbble !!!xx

    the flange Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:35

  • Well after the past few weeks of anarchic comments and discussions which could be considered subversive it's reassuring to know that HM has it's own appointed monitor of law & order to uphold moral standards.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Wed, 20/01/2010 - 13:41

  • I should allso like to add that Master Bates is in contravention of the Footballer Impersonating (Prima Donna) Act of 2005 by which he claims to be a "midfielder" whilst playing for Middelsborough. £30,000 fine and confiscation of ostentatioius tasteless motor vehicule

    officerdibble Wed, 20/01/2010 - 14:00

  • I still would though. As long as she you din;t have to talk to her after

    Petesin Wed, 20/01/2010 - 18:04

  • She really pulls that retard-having-an-orgasm-whilst-doing-a-shit face well. Must be all that practice

    missmonana Wed, 20/01/2010 - 19:43

  • Wasn't she a "Posh" look (nothing at all) alike? Even with her legion faults, she's still better looking than that abomination.

    walsingham Wed, 20/01/2010 - 20:18

  • I think you could probably get away with just reading her a Cat in The Hat book

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Thu, 21/01/2010 - 10:35

  • Gucci sale, italy gucci handbags, gucci bag, gucci shoes, up 50% off, 100% money back guarantee, wholesale and retai gucci handbags, gucci bag
    Gucci handbags

    xiaoblue Wed, 09/06/2010 - 06:13

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