Celebrity wannabees, dreaming of a life of adulation and untold riches, were yesterday issued their starkest warning yet that it's all complete fantasy and built on a house of cards towering on a pile of sloppy shit as Chantelle Houghton created a photo opportunity by buying a microwave from Next.

If you're someone thinking of entering a Big Brother/Britain's Got Talent type show thinking it leads to lying on a four poster bed covered in £50 notes at Blakes Hotel whilst your handsome six packed footballer boyfriend drills you sensitively to a shuddering climax whilst on the other end of the phone Louboutins are asking where they should deliver your next batch of shoes - think again.

99 times out of 100 it leads to cramming as many fleeces and towelled socks as you can into a Next bag and picking up some baked beans to christen your new microwave with.

Think on.