If you're looking for advice on how to best live your life, always ask a celebrity. They know all kinds of things, like where best to hide a bag of coke, who to use as a 'driver' in case you get pulled over by the police and how many pornstars you can fit in a home theatre. Of course, some celebrities are better advice givers than others, some have seen it all, done it all, smoked it all and had sex with the inert, cold body of it all. Charlie Sheen is one such an elite Hollywood oracle. Plus, since he recently collapsed after taking too many drugs he refuses to keep his mouth shut about it.

So it's hardly surprising that he had some good, sensible advice to hand out to the listeners of Dan Patrick's radio show recently:

“I said stay away from the crack. Which I think is good advice. Unless you can manage it socially. Because if you can manage it socially, go for it, but not a lot of people can, you know. The only thing that makes me want to party is when my brain says, ‘It’s on.’ Usually at the wrong time. It tends to go with boredom. It’s never been about, ‘Everyone else is drinking, I should too.’ It’s about wanting to make things better, whether it’s real or imagined. I don’t say ‘sober’. I’m not in AA, I don’t believe in it…It’s inauthentic, its not who I am.”

Great stuff, Charlie. Truly useful.

Incidentally, is anyone else slightly interested in that Paris Hilton picture above? It was in 2000, so before she became a face on the social scene and way before her sex tape. She actually looks completely different. Dead inside. Maybe that was before she learnt to hide it.