You're making me blush with your kind words. Good thing the Rev is off serving the Lord elsewhere or he'd get all jealous and vengeful.

Apparently so, but in my mind the 9th cup of tea will be the one that finally pulls me back to normal and my fight to avoid chatting to old Hughie in the loo remaining my main challenge for the day. Your humour by the way has been to my delight, please do keep at the stabbing, it's working a treat for me.

Thanks for indulging me there Elbow, you really are far too kind about my feeble stabs at humour. Vomit on their keyboards. Honestly, who is stupid and/or selfish enough to call in sick after the bank holiday? Dr. Huxy recommends the sugar-laden evilness of Coca Cola for hangovers (some of my friends call it 'The Black Doctor' but I am never sure if that is somehow a bit racist or not). I can't stand the stuff normally but it seems to be the only thing that eases the pain after too much sauce the night/weekend before.

I got it Huxy, a cracker indeed, and i never lie. Hangover only worsened as true horror of sunday/monday finally takes toll, only to be exasperated by the willingness of work colleaugues to call in sick and thrust their workload onto me. There will be revenge.

Sigh, I knew my pathetic joke would fall flatter than a pancake.

I always thoroughly enjoy your outbursts of moral outrage Elbow- it makes a refreshing change these days. Keep on keepin' on and I hope the hangover subsides soon.

Not a greedy, brick-thick Sloane, incapable of living out the rest of her days in a level of luxury denied to about 99.9% of the rest of the planet or cutting her extravagant lifestyle back a smidge to suit these recessionary times?

'Drunk' was she?

That's okay then.

Any woman would have to be paralytic to offer access to that fugly inbred Andrew. Ta boom!

Apparently Sarah Ferguson will be saying that she was drunk when she offered access to Andrew.

Hi elbow

I think it's BECAUSE they have everything they could possibly need (bar a braincell and even a tenuous grip on reality) that they can swan about, living life from press release to press release, photo-op to photo-op, picking up relationships and throwing them down like kids with toys. There's always a retinue of lackeys telling them it's okay and (see Sarah Ferguson) 'Oprahs just come through with an offer of £50,000 for an exclusive tell-all and no tough questions'.

Yours in cunty solidarity

Prof Jiggerycock
Dept of Social Studies
University of Dewsbury

Good to see people working at their marriage and thinking of the kids. I sometimes wonder if people really have any understanding about love and commitment these days and i guess thanks to idiots like these, they have all the information right in front of them. what makes me sick is there are people out there without a pot to piss in and they stick together through all adversity, absorping all the pressure of daily life, yet these fuckwits have everything they could possibly need. yet just give up when things get a bit tough. Sorry folks, carry on being funny, i'm just hungover and back to work, boo!

Sutcliffe?

He looks like a retarded Peter Seroviowhateverhescalled.

As far as I'm aware most women have that problem but I suppose hers might be really off balance. I had a friend who had one that was several cup sizes larger than the other and she had the big one reduced. Now that Charlotte has just got rid of one tit, perhaps she will consider this option.

I thought all women had one bigger than the other? (Obviously not me, obviously....) It gets worse as you age apparently. She'll have one zeppelin and one small bag of soup by the time she's forty

Did you know her tits are different sizes, almost needs a custom made bra.

Really? Thought they were made for each other- a washed up orange imbecile and the shouty annoying woman whose rise to fame is entirely inexplicable, given that in every performance I've ever heard by her, any relationship to correct musical pitch was entirely accidental.

*slitting wrists*

Well, took them long enough. Haven't the pap mags been going on about how they're "on the verge of splitting up" since they clapped eyes on each other?