Cheryl Cole and Ashley Cole to seek counselling

7 Cheryl Cole arrives back to the UK Cheryl Cole out and about in LA with dreamy Derek Gough advert Cheryl Cole at Heathrow Cheryl Cole out and about in LA with dreamy Derek Gough Cheryl Cole with Derek Gough Sonia Wild sunbathes on a train track

Ashley and Cheryl Cole in more colourful times

Can't take no good advice

Wed, 03/03/2010 - 13:31 by HM writer

According to reports that we're frankly disinclined to believe (mainly because we're being transported back to the 1950s for the second time this week), Cheryl apparently believes she's let Ashley down as a wife due to her pursuit of a career and that he's more "a victim of circumstance, vulnerable to predatory women" than an opportunist and serial shagger. Therefore she has apparently agreed to have counselling with him as soon as next week...

Apparently Cole's mother Sue (no, not that one), his Chelsea teamates and even Roman Abrovomich have been helping Cole come across as a vicitm, which is how he portrayed himself yesterday when he told reporters that his life was like, sooooo ovah.

A source said:

"Cheryl has agreed to see a counsellor with Ashley to hear his issues."

Which should take all of ten seconds; he likes to have sex with lots of women.

And we're beginning to suspect this 'source' is made-up (or dreamt up by the Daily Mail), as they continued:

"She think he deserves to be heard and understands how he could think that she let him down as a wife. Cheryl sees Ashley as different to John Terry. He has managed to persuade her that he's not a cad - more a victim of circumstance.

"She's now starting to think he's vulnerable and immature and easy prey for predatory women."

And he forgets to put his phone on keypad lock so it inadvertently takes photos of his cock while he's getting undressed before it's accidentally sent to someone unassuming and modest as this.

Besides, all this will just break Derek Gough's heart.

Ashley Cole pictures, Cheryl Cole and Ashley Cole, Cheryl Cole Pictures, Ashley Cole, Cheryl Cole

Comments

Yogurt-chucking snipers had me guffawing, Ernie.

Her tatts speak fucking volumes on her pedigree as a council estate rough-as-nails cunt. She's a talentless shit
koshmar Sun, 07/03/2010 - 13:00
haha smutbucket, you just made me spit out my dinner in laughter. A pair of pearl earings would finish the look off nicely tho'
ladypenelope Wed, 03/03/2010 - 21:35
pearl necklace: model's own
smutbucket Wed, 03/03/2010 - 17:20
Sorry Stella - I was assuming that her ridiculous "body art"/retarded doodling went all the way down her rather hirsute back!!
erniemilko Wed, 03/03/2010 - 17:15
Stop messing with our heads Mopsa! BRING BACK THE PINK! Nice beads, though.
AllyFarrell Wed, 03/03/2010 - 16:44
Surprisingly, the cervical spine refers to the neck. What lurks on her lumbar region is only to be speculated about.
stella ah trois Wed, 03/03/2010 - 16:30
Mess in her cervical spine region? Are you referring to her tramp stamp target for the yoghurt-chucking snipers of the world??
erniemilko Wed, 03/03/2010 - 16:19
I'm thinking that perhaps she is going with a counselling prelude to a reconsillyation is that she frankly is a complete light weight and can't face the PAIN of having THAT tattoo removed. Better listening to his whinging about what a bad, bad wife/woman/shag she is than that. Bets on: she'll be up the duff by August and having Mama added to the gothic mess in her cervical spine region. Yes, it is called that.
stella ah trois Wed, 03/03/2010 - 15:50
Or p'haps he was just plain old naked and Cheryl's been photoshopped in?
stella ah trois Wed, 03/03/2010 - 15:46
Hi hans. Check the other stories - it's evolution...
stella ah trois Wed, 03/03/2010 - 15:45
Beautifully put, erniemilko.
spandex Wed, 03/03/2010 - 15:35
Are you working through the whole pastel rainbow mopsa? My only objection is that the new colours don't make him look quite as much of a complete and utter cunt as the seminal pink original???
As for the worthless pair of fuckers, they deserve all they get. She's a violent council slag with zero musical talent and he's a spineless little twat whose only regret is getting caught following the whims of his massive ego and tiny cock.
erniemilko Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:38
I get it. If you're a sportsman (Terry, Woods, Cole etcetcetcetc ad nauseum) you fuck around because you have 'issues'. When one of my friends confronted her husband about dipping his wick in some 18 year old's yumyum, he told her he was bored of shagging only one woman...the non-celeb approach.
psammmead Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:35
HM, you keep on changing the colour of that lovely, fetching velour polo-neck. I'm starting to have my doubts as to whether it was ever that poncy baby-pink colour to begin with. It could've been a black jumper, but you could've photoshopped it pink to give more credence to those...erm..."rumours" surrounding Ashley Cole...
kendoddsdadsdogsdead Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:34
HA! thanks for the pic, very funny.
paxtonwhitehead Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:27
If the story's true then she's an idiot: "Yeah babe I fucked 'em but I make luuuurve to you" If she believes the crap then I hope he shags his way round town leaving her with a set of itchy red boils, hanging out her bum, that spell the word doormat.
PuddyTwat Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:23
He's a knob, he should tell her to do one...any money she's been smoking Cowell's pole anyway.
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:15
Looks like he's wearing his mum's clothes in that first photo
hans moretti Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:09
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
elbow Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:07

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
elbow Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:07
Looks like he's wearing his mum's clothes in that first photo
hans moretti Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:09
He's a knob, he should tell her to do one...any money she's been smoking Cowell's pole anyway.
The Rev Jesse Custer Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:15
If the story's true then she's an idiot: "Yeah babe I fucked 'em but I make luuuurve to you" If she believes the crap then I hope he shags his way round town leaving her with a set of itchy red boils, hanging out her bum, that spell the word doormat.
PuddyTwat Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:23
HA! thanks for the pic, very funny.
paxtonwhitehead Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:27
HM, you keep on changing the colour of that lovely, fetching velour polo-neck. I'm starting to have my doubts as to whether it was ever that poncy baby-pink colour to begin with. It could've been a black jumper, but you could've photoshopped it pink to give more credence to those...erm..."rumours" surrounding Ashley Cole...
kendoddsdadsdogsdead Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:34
I get it. If you're a sportsman (Terry, Woods, Cole etcetcetcetc ad nauseum) you fuck around because you have 'issues'. When one of my friends confronted her husband about dipping his wick in some 18 year old's yumyum, he told her he was bored of shagging only one woman...the non-celeb approach.
psammmead Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:35
Are you working through the whole pastel rainbow mopsa? My only objection is that the new colours don't make him look quite as much of a complete and utter cunt as the seminal pink original???
As for the worthless pair of fuckers, they deserve all they get. She's a violent council slag with zero musical talent and he's a spineless little twat whose only regret is getting caught following the whims of his massive ego and tiny cock.
erniemilko Wed, 03/03/2010 - 14:38
Beautifully put, erniemilko.
spandex Wed, 03/03/2010 - 15:35
Hi hans. Check the other stories - it's evolution...
stella ah trois Wed, 03/03/2010 - 15:45
Or p'haps he was just plain old naked and Cheryl's been photoshopped in?
stella ah trois Wed, 03/03/2010 - 15:46
I'm thinking that perhaps she is going with a counselling prelude to a reconsillyation is that she frankly is a complete light weight and can't face the PAIN of having THAT tattoo removed. Better listening to his whinging about what a bad, bad wife/woman/shag she is than that. Bets on: she'll be up the duff by August and having Mama added to the gothic mess in her cervical spine region. Yes, it is called that.
stella ah trois Wed, 03/03/2010 - 15:50
Mess in her cervical spine region? Are you referring to her tramp stamp target for the yoghurt-chucking snipers of the world??
erniemilko Wed, 03/03/2010 - 16:19
Surprisingly, the cervical spine refers to the neck. What lurks on her lumbar region is only to be speculated about.
stella ah trois Wed, 03/03/2010 - 16:30
Stop messing with our heads Mopsa! BRING BACK THE PINK! Nice beads, though.
AllyFarrell Wed, 03/03/2010 - 16:44
Sorry Stella - I was assuming that her ridiculous "body art"/retarded doodling went all the way down her rather hirsute back!!
erniemilko Wed, 03/03/2010 - 17:15
pearl necklace: model's own
smutbucket Wed, 03/03/2010 - 17:20
haha smutbucket, you just made me spit out my dinner in laughter. A pair of pearl earings would finish the look off nicely tho'
ladypenelope Wed, 03/03/2010 - 21:35
Yogurt-chucking snipers had me guffawing, Ernie.

Her tatts speak fucking volumes on her pedigree as a council estate rough-as-nails cunt. She's a talentless shit
koshmar Sun, 07/03/2010 - 13:00