It's difficult to tell how genuine the tears on Piers Morgan's Life Stories show actually are. Almost every single person who's been on his show has ended up in tears and if they're actually real then the only person with a similar ability to make women cry on command has a moustache and a fluffer. 

Piers' last guest was Cheryl Cole/Tweedy/Cowell and of course it's no surprise she ended up leaking all over the set, after all, the woman has developed a Pavlovian response to people holding a microphone. Anyway, poor teary Cheryl revealed how she 'will always love' that dirty rat Ashley:

‘Once we get over this obstacle, I hope we can be friends again. A part of me will always love Ashley. Looking back on it, I feel numb. We had a great marriage and a fantastic wedding day but I don't know where it went wrong. To this day I still question that.'

Obviously we don't want to interfere (we really, really do) but wasn't it something to do Ashley's wayward love pipe, pet? 

On the subject of her malaria she was a little more dramatic, apparently even going so far as to write a will:

‘I thought I was going to die, I actually thought I was going to die. I thought if I’m going to die I want to die soon because I was in so much pain’.

Also, according to a source on the programme:

‘She was given 24 hours to survive and told if her condition did not improve she would die.’

She finished off the interview with a scathing attack on northerners:

‘Sometimes I feel completely trapped, I just can’t go back to Newcastle and put on tracksuit bottoms and Ugg boots.’

Ah pet.