After yesterday's WORLD EXCLUSIVE of Cheryl Cole popping to Starbucks and buying a venti coffee frappuccino minus the cream and looking "dealthly pale and gaunt" while at the same time "not looking deathly pale and gaunt" (make up your fucking minds) - she must be slightly delirious with malaria still, as that is the only way to explain that horrible denim jumpsuit she was wearing on her way to LA...

But first we bring you more on Cheryl's visit to a Starbucks somewhere in Surrey, where The Sun claims she "worried staff" due to her "dealthly pale and gaunt" appearance...

We doubt the staff in Starbucks could actually give two shits about someone they have never met in their lives before, yet a magical source (made up to beef out their non-story) said:

"She seemed a bit vague and not fully with it. She looked pale and thin. I didn't recognise her until she spoke in her Geordie accent."

"She took some food but said it was for her minder - although she looked like she could do with a bit of feeding up. Still, it was lovely to see her. Customers were really excited."

*Slits wrists*

After surviving her trip to Starbucks, she is now on her way to LA with new special-Cheryl friend, dancer Derek Hough - so she can't be too "dealthly pale and gaunt" but they must be an item/so in love, etc, etc...

Perhpas while she's over there, now the rumours Girls Aloud are reforming without Nadine Coyle are being reported as false, she'll bury the hatchet and stop by for a drink here...