Chris Martin goes surfing. Christ, what an asshole

8 Chris Martin in the Hamptons Chris Martin in a wet suit advert Chris Martin making a splash Chris Martin - life's a beach or something Chris Martin in the sea Chris Martin surfing advert Chris Martin surfing in the Hamptons

Chris Martin surfing in the Hamptons

A rush of sea to the head

Tue, 17/08/2010 - 12:34 by Harry Bow

One for the ladies... Chris Martin in a wet suit.

To quote the Daily Mail:

"He doesn't smoke, drink alcohol or eat meat. So it's good to see that Chris Martin does still know how to have fun."

Wooah, yeah, it's one big party for him and wife Gwyneth Paltrow, who just posted on her website Goop.com:

"On average, women gain 25 pounds between the ages of 30 and 60 and it’s not from eating those extra Twinkies. During the course of the natural aging process, women shed lean muscle mass. These lean muscles are the force from which calories are burned even while sitting around and just blinking."

Thanks, Gwynnie.

At least Chris was a bit more steady on his feet than here...

Chris Martin pictures, Chris Martin

Comments

Unfortunately it's a prerequisite in Hollywood that in order to look down on everyone else you have to be thinner than them. Not only is Gwyneth Paltrow a smug, nazi robot, but I know for a fact she's an unpleasant little shit as well. And if you're married to an unpleasant little shit you're either a fucking mug or you have strong streak of unpleasantness running through you too. So CM, fucking mug or nasty smuggo? Lovely choice.
Urfugginjokin Wed, 18/08/2010 - 09:51
You know that episode of South Park where Kyle's family move to San Francisco and become part of the "smug" thing? That's exactly what I think of when I see a picture of this cunt.
retrovertigo Tue, 17/08/2010 - 23:33
In the Hamptons on his own eh?

Aye Aye sailor.
whereswaldo Tue, 17/08/2010 - 21:08
Yes, but like everything it's a case of moderation and not being a mental about it. People who tell you to wear factor 25 in the uk in winter are plain nuts. They're bonkers. I live in a very hot country and the only people who wear sun lotion here are ex-pat gingers. Everyone else just uses their common sense and stays out of the sun when it's 41 degrees (like today) and just avoids lying out in the sun the rest of the time. Gwyneth and her ilk aren't even hippies- hippies are supposed to be chilled out aren't they?! They're flipping nazis who just want to impose their particular brand of insane on everyone else. I'd rather have a wrinkly face than rickets.
littlelola Tue, 17/08/2010 - 20:24
I can never see either of these whey-faced hippies without wanting to force-feed them a nice bit of steak and a glass of Cotes du Rhone.

Sure, it's all well and good to be healthy, but if it comes at the cost of having a good time...or a personality...well, it's not really worth it.

Mind, lilltlola, there's nothing wrong with sun protection. Spose I would say that as I burn lobster red within seconds of exposure...but still.
tescopop Tue, 17/08/2010 - 15:30
Next time I'm hiring a smarter shark.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-10995222

Dumb fuck got the wrong guy !
The Rev Jesse Custer Tue, 17/08/2010 - 14:33
That'll be the same Gwyneth Paltrow that's been told she has a condition which more or less guarantees osteoporosis, which she has got from
1) a massive vitamin D deficiency from wearing factor 3 million sunscreen,
and 2) being a nutjob with a diet that borders on eating disorder which tells you that anything bar broccoli containing calcium is evil and must be stopped.

Oh yes, I'm going to Goop.com for all my health advice from now on!
littlelola Tue, 17/08/2010 - 14:25
Yes, but I was quoting this; http://www.robertsinclair.net/comic/asshole.html
Harry Bow Tue, 17/08/2010 - 13:29
Isn't it 'arsehole' for chrissakes, we are still in the UK?
Freakoid Tue, 17/08/2010 - 13:19
hehe.
that daft dancing he does is perfectly captured in this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlcxkblAic8
izudu Tue, 17/08/2010 - 13:11
He's so worthy and preachy and boring and dull. Imagine going over to "their place", you'd regret it as soon as you walked in. You'd spend your time debatting health and the environment instead of drinking, eating and enjoying a spliff.
Chris Martin is the sort of bore who makes you wonder if Katona is getting it right
PuddyTwat Tue, 17/08/2010 - 12:54
I don't think that is a surf board. It may actually be Gwyneth.
stella ah trois Tue, 17/08/2010 - 12:47

I don't think that is a surf board. It may actually be Gwyneth.
stella ah trois Tue, 17/08/2010 - 12:47
He's so worthy and preachy and boring and dull. Imagine going over to "their place", you'd regret it as soon as you walked in. You'd spend your time debatting health and the environment instead of drinking, eating and enjoying a spliff.
Chris Martin is the sort of bore who makes you wonder if Katona is getting it right
PuddyTwat Tue, 17/08/2010 - 12:54
hehe.
that daft dancing he does is perfectly captured in this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlcxkblAic8
izudu Tue, 17/08/2010 - 13:11
Isn't it 'arsehole' for chrissakes, we are still in the UK?
Freakoid Tue, 17/08/2010 - 13:19
Yes, but I was quoting this; http://www.robertsinclair.net/comic/asshole.html
Harry Bow Tue, 17/08/2010 - 13:29
That'll be the same Gwyneth Paltrow that's been told she has a condition which more or less guarantees osteoporosis, which she has got from
1) a massive vitamin D deficiency from wearing factor 3 million sunscreen,
and 2) being a nutjob with a diet that borders on eating disorder which tells you that anything bar broccoli containing calcium is evil and must be stopped.

Oh yes, I'm going to Goop.com for all my health advice from now on!
littlelola Tue, 17/08/2010 - 14:25
Next time I'm hiring a smarter shark.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-10995222

Dumb fuck got the wrong guy !
The Rev Jesse Custer Tue, 17/08/2010 - 14:33
I can never see either of these whey-faced hippies without wanting to force-feed them a nice bit of steak and a glass of Cotes du Rhone.

Sure, it's all well and good to be healthy, but if it comes at the cost of having a good time...or a personality...well, it's not really worth it.

Mind, lilltlola, there's nothing wrong with sun protection. Spose I would say that as I burn lobster red within seconds of exposure...but still.
tescopop Tue, 17/08/2010 - 15:30
Yes, but like everything it's a case of moderation and not being a mental about it. People who tell you to wear factor 25 in the uk in winter are plain nuts. They're bonkers. I live in a very hot country and the only people who wear sun lotion here are ex-pat gingers. Everyone else just uses their common sense and stays out of the sun when it's 41 degrees (like today) and just avoids lying out in the sun the rest of the time. Gwyneth and her ilk aren't even hippies- hippies are supposed to be chilled out aren't they?! They're flipping nazis who just want to impose their particular brand of insane on everyone else. I'd rather have a wrinkly face than rickets.
littlelola Tue, 17/08/2010 - 20:24
In the Hamptons on his own eh?

Aye Aye sailor.
whereswaldo Tue, 17/08/2010 - 21:08
You know that episode of South Park where Kyle's family move to San Francisco and become part of the "smug" thing? That's exactly what I think of when I see a picture of this cunt.
retrovertigo Tue, 17/08/2010 - 23:33
Unfortunately it's a prerequisite in Hollywood that in order to look down on everyone else you have to be thinner than them. Not only is Gwyneth Paltrow a smug, nazi robot, but I know for a fact she's an unpleasant little shit as well. And if you're married to an unpleasant little shit you're either a fucking mug or you have strong streak of unpleasantness running through you too. So CM, fucking mug or nasty smuggo? Lovely choice.
Urfugginjokin Wed, 18/08/2010 - 09:51