Chris Martin needs a macrobiotic pie - QUICKLY

8Chris Martin at the Music Room, LondonChris Martin with a tropical fruit bowl at the Music Room, LondonadvertChris Martin looking gaunt in LondonChris Martin orders a Pina ColadaChris Martin at the Music Room, LondonChris Martin appears to have lost a lot of weight.advertChris Martin appears to have lost a lot of weight.

Chris Martin at the Music Room, LondonChris Martin at the Music Room, London

God put a ryvita upon your face
Fri, 13/11/2009 - 12:48 by Mr. HM

Chris Martin from Coldplay looks as though he has finally succumbed to wife Gwyneth's mental diets. How else could he be looking so thin all of a sudden?

Here he is at the charity designer fashion sale 'Gladrags and Handbags' thing in London last night. He certainly appears to have laid off the pies and gone for some other form of nourishment to keep the weight down. Mysterious.

He seems to have contracted the same staring, shocked look that Robbie Williams was sporting last night and on the X Factor too.

It would be churlish of me not to mention the fucking lunatic he's stood next to wouldn't it? Her name is Camilla Batmanghelidjh. It had to be really didn't it? Tek me length Gal.

Chris Martin pictures, Chris Martin

Comments

  • Chris Martin looks like hes just swallowed his butt plug

    carbon cowboy Mon, 16/11/2009 - 00:53

  • That was Alan McGee wasn't it? Oasis' record label manager..

    pandakiller Sat, 14/11/2009 - 13:33

  • I feel more sorry for the previous victims than the c***s that get a second chance at some art school.

    whereswaldo Fri, 13/11/2009 - 20:41

  • Don't knock Camilla, she's one of a kind. I wouldn't do what she does, not for a million quid. Some of the stories those kids tell are horrific.

    whatthe. Fri, 13/11/2009 - 19:53

  • Or student knobhead.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Fri, 13/11/2009 - 17:26

  • She is a modern day Fagin in a flowery dress.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Fri, 13/11/2009 - 17:25

  • and, according to that profile, "severely dyslexic", among other things. Oh the iorny.

    BigPhil Fri, 13/11/2009 - 16:05

  • Noel Gallagher got it spot on with Coldplay - "bedwetter's music"

    Stramash Fri, 13/11/2009 - 16:01

  • http://www.specialistspeakers.com/?p=683

    founder and director of Kids Company, among other things

    Liss Fri, 13/11/2009 - 15:51

  • Camilla takes the rough neck kids and shows them that there's more to life than knifing people. She's alright is Camilla.

    As for Chris, let him starve himself to death. The man's a fool and far too serious. If he doesn't understand that he needs to eat then sod him. The world does not need another Coldplay album so his demise will be our gain.

    PuddyTwat Fri, 13/11/2009 - 15:50

  • Feel free to stick up for her - I have no idea who she is... What does she do?

    Mr. HM Fri, 13/11/2009 - 15:44

  • Much as I love a celebrity lampoon I have GOT to stick up for Camilla, who is properly inspirational. Mind you I'm sure she's been abused far worse by the kids she struggles to help.

    swooziemoonshoe Fri, 13/11/2009 - 15:17

  • Who had half a dozen Hawaiian pizzas and eight cans of special brew before honking it up all over crazy Camilla and ruining her lovely plain outfit.

    malachysdad Fri, 13/11/2009 - 14:59

  • Having had the misfortune to attend a couple of Kids Company events I can confirm most of the kids are annoying thieving little cunts who should probably be doing 10 years in prison. Still fair play to Batman if she can get them into art school instead.

    Queenofthebongobong Fri, 13/11/2009 - 14:57

  • That Camilla bird's great. She has 'batman' in her name and dresses like an African tribal queen.

    She also helps deprived kids get into artschool or something. I dont know. I just like her muumuu.

    tescopop Fri, 13/11/2009 - 14:03

  • I've always thought Kids Company a very unfortunate name for a children's charity.

    stella ah trois Fri, 13/11/2009 - 13:54

  • Cunt needs a wig too.

    dennisnilsen Fri, 13/11/2009 - 13:47

  • Wouldn't it be better if nobody fed this whingey fucker anything, and just let him starve? Please?

    dandyboy Fri, 13/11/2009 - 13:43

  • Wouldn't it be better if nobody fed this whingey fucker anything, and just let him starve? Please?

    dandyboy Fri, 13/11/2009 - 13:43

  • Cunt needs a wig too.

    dennisnilsen Fri, 13/11/2009 - 13:47

  • I've always thought Kids Company a very unfortunate name for a children's charity.

    stella ah trois Fri, 13/11/2009 - 13:54

  • That Camilla bird's great. She has 'batman' in her name and dresses like an African tribal queen.

    She also helps deprived kids get into artschool or something. I dont know. I just like her muumuu.

    tescopop Fri, 13/11/2009 - 14:03

  • Having had the misfortune to attend a couple of Kids Company events I can confirm most of the kids are annoying thieving little cunts who should probably be doing 10 years in prison. Still fair play to Batman if she can get them into art school instead.

    Queenofthebongobong Fri, 13/11/2009 - 14:57

  • Who had half a dozen Hawaiian pizzas and eight cans of special brew before honking it up all over crazy Camilla and ruining her lovely plain outfit.

    malachysdad Fri, 13/11/2009 - 14:59

  • Much as I love a celebrity lampoon I have GOT to stick up for Camilla, who is properly inspirational. Mind you I'm sure she's been abused far worse by the kids she struggles to help.

    swooziemoonshoe Fri, 13/11/2009 - 15:17

  • Feel free to stick up for her - I have no idea who she is... What does she do?

    Mr. HM Fri, 13/11/2009 - 15:44

  • Camilla takes the rough neck kids and shows them that there's more to life than knifing people. She's alright is Camilla.

    As for Chris, let him starve himself to death. The man's a fool and far too serious. If he doesn't understand that he needs to eat then sod him. The world does not need another Coldplay album so his demise will be our gain.

    PuddyTwat Fri, 13/11/2009 - 15:50

  • http://www.specialistspeakers.com/?p=683

    founder and director of Kids Company, among other things

    Liss Fri, 13/11/2009 - 15:51

  • Noel Gallagher got it spot on with Coldplay - "bedwetter's music"

    Stramash Fri, 13/11/2009 - 16:01

  • and, according to that profile, "severely dyslexic", among other things. Oh the iorny.

    BigPhil Fri, 13/11/2009 - 16:05

  • She is a modern day Fagin in a flowery dress.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Fri, 13/11/2009 - 17:25

  • Or student knobhead.

    MJwasakiddyfiddler Fri, 13/11/2009 - 17:26

  • Don't knock Camilla, she's one of a kind. I wouldn't do what she does, not for a million quid. Some of the stories those kids tell are horrific.

    whatthe. Fri, 13/11/2009 - 19:53

  • I feel more sorry for the previous victims than the c***s that get a second chance at some art school.

    whereswaldo Fri, 13/11/2009 - 20:41

  • That was Alan McGee wasn't it? Oasis' record label manager..

    pandakiller Sat, 14/11/2009 - 13:33

  • Chris Martin looks like hes just swallowed his butt plug

    carbon cowboy Mon, 16/11/2009 - 00:53

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