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I'm assuming the one in pic nine borrowed her lovely shoes off her mum.

I have just moved nearer to Croydon and I can confirm that moody boiler ratio has definitely increased.

Having a casual glance at the women on my new train platform in the mornings is like having a flick through a low grade early 90's jazz mag :(

Errrrrm, taking a wild stab in the dark (much like the designer appears to have done), I'd be betting that these girls are probably the ones on display in Secrets every night of the week anyway. They probably come as a package deal with hiring the venue. You didn't think real 'models' could carry off dancing in those shoes did you???

Rancid. You can smell them. They sort of look grubby. In an actual not washed kind of way.

Even Jiggery wouldn't.

Urgh rank. That's the sort of underwear dangerous Dappy out of N-Dubz would love. I believe the term is nuff said.

This is why you should never believe any company that says they use 'natural' models (hello Dove). How they think it looks: that sweet girl you grew up next door to, always fancying. The reality: a bunch of Croydon boilers on the pull like this crowd.

Especially with all the thick, pretty girls around. They'd wear a dress made out of used johnnies if you told them there's a chance they might end up in the background in a picture in Star magazine.
#1 has a chin like a fiddler's elbow, for fuck's sake.

Is there a national model shortage or something? Who the fuck chose these ropey tarts?

Must admit that pic 1 looks like a "model" only in the sense that Chloe Madely and Peaches Geldof are "models" and would be more fitting in a Jewson's calendar!

Where to begin.....

Firstly if I saw any girl wearing these creations for real I think I'd piss myself.

Pic 1 & 16 - Spesahl
Pic 4 - is nearly enough to put me off sex for life.
Pic 11 - Why has she got 1 thin leg & 1 fat leg ?...and weird knees

I got as far as Pic 4 and the scary crotch activity therein, and gave up, sobbing. Jeez.